Rose put the phone down gently, her face stinging red as if it had been slapped.
She blinked back embarrassed tears. She suspected all along that Celeste did not
take her concerns seriously, but the way Celeste had made it so clear hurt.

She often felt left out of things these days. The world seemed to be passing her
by as attitudes changed. She was no prude - at least that was what she kept
telling herself - but were the innocent things she truly enjoyed so out of place
nowadays? Why did people have to resort to sex, innuendo and general crudity to
get pleasure from life? Celeste's crude joke about Mickey and Minnie Mouse and
their nephews, was a prime example of the jaded tastes which seemed to permeate
her close circle of friends and even the Church in general these days. It was not
that she had never heard such shocking suggestions, but they generally came from
kids or teenagers, certainly not an adult who she respected!

Rose was not given to anger, but it made her so depressed.

As a child she had lived in a world of total innocence which perhaps had lasted
longer than it should have. Maybe her parents had been over protective, or maybe
she was just a late developer. She did not know. All she knew was that she was
the way she was. She had believed in "Uncle Walt" and even now his creations
still held a special place in her heart. Sometimes when she was upset she would
sit and watch the knockabout comedy to cheer herself up. It seemed such a shame
that in today's world of sleaze and corruption even the corporation he had
created solely for the pleasure of children should not be immune. Indeed it even
seemed that it had become the target of paedophiles and other perverts who wanted
to take away the innocence of children in the name of "education" before they
were ready.

Although she was a devout Roman Catholic, she did not take all the teachings of
the Church to heart. One had to be practical after all! Nevertheless she found
religion and the sense of community gave her fulfilment and comfort. She had
nothing against the gay community and indeed supported several AIDS charities -
something which many mistakenly regarded as hypocritical. She could not
understand for the life of her, though, why some of these people had to use the
commercial power and the particular market appeal of Disney to broadcast their
message to young children!

Why was this such a difficult idea?

She sighed, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. For her, this was a form of
prayer. When she felt the world was against her a short "communication with God"
was all it took to put things into perspective.

OK, she had obviously bored Celeste, but even Celeste was not generally so rude!
She was clearly under some kind of pressure, and Rose felt a twinge of guilt for
not realising this. Maybe she had something cooking - a dinner party to prepare.
No... Rose smiled again. There were other signs. She knew, for example, that
Celeste was not alone. She had heard the odd unguarded squeak. She knew exactly
what had been going on!

Rose's sex life was something she regarded as normal  - although, because she
never really pried, she had no real way of knowing. She enjoyed making love with
her husband, but for her the pleasure from sex was symbolic celebration of their
marriage and the deep and primal function of producing children. The bodily
sensations that coursed through her body at such times were never particularly
intense for her. Jimmy loved her deeply and they had experimented with various
techniques when they were younger, but with advancing years she had concluded
that she simply was not "wired" the way the newspapers and television
documentaries would have you believe most people were! To be fair she got more
pleasure from a long heart to heart with Jimmy over a few glasses of wine than
sex with him, and that was no insult to Jimmy!

In her teens she had been part of a threesome. A close-knit gang of girls who
laughed together, played together and got into trouble together. She remembered
the dreadful afternoon when it had all fallen apart. She had burst in on Dawn and
Wendy and found them together in their underclothes. Nothing particularly wrong
with that, or even with the fact that they were kissing. The closed eyes, the
fluttering tongues and the exploratory hands moving uncertainly over their bodies
may just have been mischievous horseplay - they had played at being movie stars
in love stories before. What made her run sobbing from the room to their peals of
laughter was the fact that the passion between the two girls was so obviously
real and it was something that she knew she would be excluded from forever.

That was her initiation into adulthood, and since then she had never really been
quite able to trust people's views and motives the way she had been able to trust
her friends as a child. She had mixed experiences with the boys she dated after
that time. Some were so painfully shy that she could not even enjoy their
company. Others did not see why she needed to enjoy their company and were
obviously after only one thing!

Jimmy was the first person she met who seemed to like her for herself. He was
thoughtful, witty and intelligent. He bought her things and did not seem to
expect anything, except her company, in return.

They were not virgins on their wedding night - she had been far too anxious to
find out what real sex was all about and had persuaded Jimmy to show her. She
knew she had not been his first and she was a little worried that he would be
disappointed at her own disappointment. If he was he never showed it, and he
never made comparisons with his ex.

She felt comfortable with Jimmy because she knew him so well and he seemed to
understand her. He was the only one though, and the ridiculous idea that everyone
else she spoke to was just waiting for her to go away so they could run off and
have sex with somebody more willing, never seemed to quite disappear!

Perhaps that was why she talked so much!

Still, this was the cross she had to bear. In the real world, as well as in the
context of the Church, she understood that without compassion and understanding
of peoples differences all would be lost. Ending up a bitter resentful "old
biddy" was simply not an option for her - despite her fundamental mistrust, she
liked people too much. She had helped with AIDS charities, among others, and had
found a true and unexpected sympathy with the sufferers she had met, who
appreciated that she was able to offer the friendship that their former friends
all too often could not. She also loved her "conventional" friends in the Church,
and knew that since they were all good Christians, they would come to her aid if
ever she was in trouble. She cherished this bond.

Celeste was a case in point. She liked Celeste, and would continue to like her.
She also knew that although she was different to her in many ways, some of which
she did not like, she was still a true friend.

She looked at her watch. She would give her a bit of time, and then call her and
apologise for prattling. She was at peace with herself now......

Christ was that the time!!

She quickly got up and went into the living room. Now where was it? Not the
tidiest of people it took Rose a few vital seconds to find the PPV card. She
slipped it in the machine and switched on the telly.

Five minutes later all thought of Celeste had completely vanished from her mind.
She was sitting on the edge of her seat, wide eyes fixed on the screen.

"Kill the bastard!" she snarled with gusto, swinging her arm in sympathy as one
huge sweaty muscle-bound boxer mercilessly hammered his foe against the ropes.

Well, nothing was going through her mind that a few "Hail Mary's" wouldn't sort
out in the morning!