I woke up alone next morning.  I could hear Mom downstairs, and smell coffee.  I
lay in the unfamiliar bed, looking up at the ceiling, thinking about the evening.
 Clearly I was losing my marbles completely.  I didn't know at all where any of
this was leading.  Only a week ago I'd been sure of who I was, and what I was.  I
hadn't been very happy, in fact I'd never felt really great about having to fit
in with guys, but I'd always known I was a guy.  Now things were crazy.  There I
was last night, making out with a guy, a guy I thought was cute, cute for
chrissakes, and I had started to wish I really was a girl so he could undress me
and do more!

I didn't really know why I'd cried, though.  I really had enjoyed everything
about the evening.  I guess I was just overwhelmed.

My bladder was very full, so I got up to go to the bathroom.  Once there I
realised I was still all taped up, and it took me a few very painful minutes to
remove the tape before I was able to sit down and relax.  As I stood up I kicked
myself mentally because that was another time I'd sat down to pee.  My brain was
definitely all scrambled, there was no question.  I went into my room, removed
the bra and my pathetic imitation breasts, put on the oversized t-shirt I usually
slept in and went downstairs to have some breakfast.

As I walked in I gave Mom another hug.  I just felt like I needed to. She didn't
speak, but poured me coffee and put some pancakes on the table in front of me as
I sat down.

"Sorry about last night, Mom", I said eventually.

"Sorry for what?"  Mom asked.

"For all the crying, I guess."

"You should never have to apologize for that.  I like it when you can cry in
front of me, I think it's better than hiding your feelings.  I don't mean to pry,
but what happened last night that brought all of that on?"

I hesitated.  "I don't know, Mom.  Really mixed up.  I had a great time. Maybe
too good.  I honestly don't know what to think.  I don't wanna stop doing this,
but I'm ...  I think I'm gonna turn out really weird or something."

"But you had a good time?"

"I had a great time."

"So you were crying.  Hmmm..."  She looked at me and we both laughed. She was
right.  Crying when I was happy was what was weird.

Mom walked over to me and ran her hand through my hair.  "When you've finished
breakfast get dressed, and wear something pretty.  That'll make you feel better. 
I want to take you to meet someone later today."

She wouldn't tell me who, so I finished breakfast, had a very long shower and
then dressed, in a beautiful silk blouse Megan had given me and the skirt of
Marcia's that I'd first worn a few days ago when all this started.  I did my
hair, and got the hang of using the comb backwards to lift it a little.  After I
applied a light touch of mascara and some lipstick I thought I looked pretty
sophisticated.  I went downstairs, and after a half hour or so of waiting while
Mom attended to some bills we had we set off for this mysterious meeting.

***

Mom pulled the car into the basement carpark of a small office building which was
covered with that blue reflecting glass that always shines the sun into your eyes
no matter what time of day it is.  We'd driven all the way down to LA again, only
this time into the heart of the Valley.  We had lunch at a little cafe on the way
through, and I was looking out the whole time for the archetypal valley-girl, but
I guess we didn't get anywhere near a mall so that was a waste of time.  Instead
we passed mile after mile of bland small office blocks and factories until we
came to a more prosperous looking area with trees along the street.  Mom had to
refer to a scrap of paper to remember the address, and even when we found it she
still wasn't sure it was the right building.  She seemed quite nervous when we
parked the car and took the elevator to the third floor.

Eventually we found the office she was looking for.  I realised right away we
were visiting a doctor.  Where was Mom getting the money for this?  All of a
sudden I felt nervous about being there.  If this was a doctor, then wouldn't he
find out I wasn't a girl?  I looked at Mom as she told the receptionist who we
were, and she said "Jenny" instead of "Chris" when she gave my name.  She
squeezed my hand under the receptionist's desk, and we sat down and waited.  I
remembered to smooth my skirt as I sat down, and flipped through a really dull
magazine from some Health Management company while we waited.

Eventually the receptionist called our names and ushered us into the doctor's
office.  A few minutes later a pretty dark-haired woman in her early thirties
came in and introduced herself to us as Doctor Adams.  Mom seemed a bit taken
aback, I guess because this woman was younger than she was.  Anyway, Dr Adams and
Mom talked for a few minutes about how we'd driven down and how much Dr Adams
liked Santa Rosita the one time she'd been there, and then the Doctor turned to
me and asked me how I was doing.

I hesitated before I said anything until I figured that of course she knew about
me, that was why we were there!  And then I told her all about the last few days
and how everything had just happened and I must have kind of blurted out a fair
bit because Mom told me to slow down.  After a while Dr Adams asked Mom to leave
the room, and then we talked some more, mostly about how I felt about girls, and
about guys, and when we got to this part I blushed and she just sat there
expectantly and so I told her about Paul.  Then we talked about how I felt when I
was a kid, and how I felt about the last few days, and I answered truthfully that
I had no idea really but that I liked some of it and didn't like some of it.  And
how I was worried about where Mom was getting the money for this visit, and other
stuff.  And that was that.  She asked me to wait outside, and asked to see Mom
again.  They talked for another ten or fifteen minutes and Mom and I went down to
the car.

"What did she say?" I asked Mom.

Mom smiled a little smile.  "That's for me to know..."  she said.

"Mom!"

"She said she would never have known you weren't a girl, and she treats a lot of
people like you".

Like me?  "Like what?"

"People who aren't sure what they want to be".

I shuddered.  I'd seen transvestites on Geraldo.  Ugh.  I didn't want her to
think I was like that.  Apart from the clothes and stuff they all seemed like
such jerks.  I mean, obviously they were jerks, they were on Geraldo.  Was I like
that?  Did Mom think so?

As we drove on I realised that we weren't heading for home.  We drove west
through the hills and Mom told me we were gonna stay have to be in LA tomorrow
and that I was gonna have to do some tests for the Doctor the next day, so we
were going to stay with Megan and Mark.  And if Mark's schedule was free in the
afternoon next day I would pose for some pictures for him.

Megan was still at work when we arrived, so Mark greeted us at the house and we
chatted for a while.  After talking to my Mom again he asked me himself whether
he could take some photographs, and we set up a time and a place to meet next
day.  Mark worked at a studio over on the westside, so Mom and I would go there
after lunch and then head home before dinner. I was glad.  Today was Thursday. 
Tomorrow night it was Marcia's dinner. She was gonna be pissed if I couldn't make
it.  Thinking about Paul I realised I was gonna have to hurry to get ready after
we got back.

Megan came home and Mark decided the four of us would eat out, so we drove back
down the coast to a restaurant he liked.  During the dinner he made a couple of
references to enjoying the company of so many beautiful women, which made my Mom
and Megan roll their eyes a little but made me blush.  Megan grinned at me a
couple of times and kicked me conspiratorially under the table once when two cute
young guys walked by. After dinner we walked along the beach for a while,
carrying our shoes in our hands while the sun was going down over the ocean.

I felt great.  The sky looked wonderful, the ocean was beautiful, and even though
I was walking along the beach in a skirt everything just felt - well, it felt
better than I could remember feeling for a long time.  By the time we headed back
home I was exhausted for some reason and we had an early night.  Megan lent Mom
and me a nightgown each and the two of us slept solidly in the spare bed.  Just
before I went to sleep I realised that Mom and I had slept together two nights in
a row although we hadn't done it for about twelve years before that.