I woke late, and lay in bed for a while contemplating the events of the previous
day.  I wondered what Mom was going to say today.  I wondered what I was gonna do
about my hair.  And my eyebrows.  When I raised my hands to brush my hair away
from my face I remembered I still had painted nails, too.  Eventually I got out
of bed and went to the bathroom.  For some weird reason I sat down to pee.  It
didn't even occur to me that I was doing it until I'd almost finished.  I guess
it was because the t-shirt was almost as long as the dress I'd been wearing the
previous night.

I went downstairs to the kitchen and poured myself some orange juice.  I was
standing looking out the window when my Mom came in.  "Good morning", she said
brightly.

"Hi Mom," I said in a similarly cheerful tone.

She put some coffee on, and came over and gave me a hug.  "How are you this
morning?"

"Pretty good, I guess"

"Ah, the joys of youth!" she smiled.  "I remember when I could stay up all night
and be bright the next day, too.  Enjoy it while you can!"

I smiled.  She wasn't so old, really, but she joked about it a lot.  She handed
me a croissant and pointed to the butter and jelly on the table. I sat down.  She
poured us both some coffee and sat down across the table from me.

"I have to go across to Megan's today", she said.  "Do you want to come?"

"Okay," I said without thinking.  Megan was my mother's sister, about ten years
younger and a lot of fun.  She lived with Mark, who was a famous photographer. 
They were both very arty and liberal and lived in a really cool house right on
the beach down in LA.  "What time are you gonna go?"

"Did you know you're still speaking differently?", My Mom said softly.  I stopped
buttering my croissant.

"Really?" I said, and realised she was right.  I was still speaking the way
Marcia had taught me yesterday.  Wow.  How did I usually speak?  I tried to
remember.  "Um, I don't know ..."  I cleared my throat, and spoke in the deepest
voice I could.  "Is that better?"

My Mom laughed.  I laughed too.  I sounded like I was a girl imitating a guy.  "I
guess it will come back eventually", I said.

"Interesting", my Mom said.  She reached across the table and touched my hair. 
She was about to say something when there was a knock at the kitchen door.  It
was Marcia.

"Hi Mrs. Miller", she said nervously.  "I just came to see, uh, Chris for a few
minutes.  Is that okay?"  She was carrying another shopping bag, which reminded
me of my clothes.  Whatever had happened to them?  They hadn't been in the car
when we'd gone to the party last night.

My Mom let her in, and offered her some coffee.  Marcia sat down while my Mom
poured it.  She looked at me for a sign as to how things might be.  I didn't know
what to say, so I looked at the table for a moment.

"You did a nice job on her hair, Marcia", my Mom said as she handed Marcia the
coffee.  I looked up.  Mom had said "her".  Marcia looked at Mom, too.

"It did look pretty good, didn't it", Marcia said hopefully, as though unsure of
my Mother's state of mind.  She looked across at me and smiled. "All it really
needed was a bit of tidying up."

"Well, the color's better, too", said Mom.  "You did a much better job than I did
when I cut it".

I sat back and pulled my hair up behind me, wanting to hide it from view a
little.  Mom looked over at me and winked.  "I just have a couple of phone calls
to make, I'll leave you two alone", she said.

After she'd gone Marcia looked across at me inquisitively.  "Well?"

"Mom was pretty good, I guess".

"What did she say?  What's with this "her hair" stuff?"

"She was pleased I had a good time"

Marcia looked at me strangely.  "Your voice ..."

"Yeah, I know.  Maybe it'll gradually go away."

"So she didn't go apeshit about Paul?"

"No.  I don't think she was really crazy about that, but she just said she wanted
me to be happy."

"Wow".  Marcia sat back in her chair.  "That's pretty wild".

We discussed the events of the previous day.  I admitted to Marcia that I'd
enjoyed it a lot, more than I really cared to tell anyone else.

"I meant what I said yesterday," Marcia said quietly, "about you seeming more
comfortable as a girl"

I looked down at the table, then back at her.  That wasn't exactly what she'd
said yesterday, but I knew what she meant.

"Anyway, I just came over to see how you were doing.  And to see whether you
wanted to come to the dinner I'm having next Friday night."

I was surprised, she'd mentioned it a lot before but never in the context of me
being invited.  "Um, sure, that would be great,"  I said.

"I was thinking we could make it ten people instead of eight, and maybe" her
voice dropped a little "you could ask Paul if he'd like to come."

"Uh".  The penny dropped.  "You're inviting Jenny, not Chris"

"Um, reality check, I hate to break it to you, but you still look a lot like a
Jenny, and you're still acting that way," she said.

"Bigger reality check - I'm a boy,"  I said.

"Well," she said, "Whatever you say.  Let me know in a day or so, okay? If you
want to come the offer stands.  It would be really  cool.  And Mike told me Paul
is really aching to see some more of you."

I bet he is, I thought.  I wasn't sure more of me was necessarily a good thing.

"Anyway," Marcia said.  "in the meantime I thought you might like to experiment a
little more, and I bought you some things you might like to borrow."  She handed
me the shopping bag, which was full of clothes.  I looked at her with some
surprise.  "Or not, whatever", she said.  "I gotta go, my Dad wants to take Rob
and me to see the car he bought yesterday, he's like totally overwhelmed by how
great it is".  She shrugged.  "He's okay for a dad, really, and I like to make
him feel happy at times like this".

"Thanks", I said, still holding the clothes.  "Uh, and thanks for a great day
yesterday"

"That's okay", she said as we both stood.  She opened the kitchen door, then
kissed me on the forehead.  "I like having you for a girlfriend, it's like having
a little sister", she said as she turned and left.

I went upstairs and put the bag Marcia had given me on my bed.  I went back to
the bathroom and had a shower, tying my hair up to keep it from getting wet.  As
I showered I thought about Mom's behaviour so far this morning.  And Marcia's. 
They seemed to want me to continue being Jenny. That was a surprise, especially
Mom's attitude.  I had to admit to myself that life seemed a lot better to Jenny
than it did to Chris.  And I had enjoyed the attention from Paul.  I was
embarrassed just thinking about it.  Would I have enjoyed it as much from a girl,
say Marcia?  I supposed I probably was queer.  Uh.  Great.  That was gonna make
me a whole lot more popular at school if anyone found out.  Not.

But then I thought girls were neat, too.  So I couldn't be queer.  Could I?

I thought about what my Dad would say if he could see me now.  I shuddered.  That
was not something I wanted to think about any more than I had to.

When I got out of the shower I brushed my hair out thoroughly.  It still looked
very feminine.  I decided to wear it in a ponytail, that seemed appropriately
androgynous.  But when I tied it back I noticed the bangs Marcia had given me
framed my face and made me look very girlish.  Maybe it was the eyebrows.  I went
back to my room to dress.

When I got to my room I noticed my Mom had unpacked the bag Marcia had given me. 
She'd laid out some of the clothes on the bed.  I presumed this was some kind of
a hint.  What the hell, I thought.  If she wants to explore this a little
further, why not?  I picked up the underwear, a pair of white cotton panties and
a white cotton bra.  Then I noticed the fake breasts, lying on the t-shirt.  I
looked around, and noticed Mom had hung the black dress I'd worn last night up in
my closet.  Mom had definitely decided she liked me better as Jenny, I thought. 
I wondered how long that was gonna last.  I put on the bra, and put in the jelly
inserts, then looked at myself in the mirror on my closet door.  The bra was a
little big for the breast inserts, but there was no doubt about it, I looked like
a young girl again.  Maybe a little underdeveloped, but I sure didn't look like a
boy.

I put on the remaining clothes, a pale blue t-shirt and a short dark blue skirt
and ankle socks.  In front of my closet on the floor were a pair of white
sneakers.  I was standing looking in the mirror again when my Mom knocked on the
door.  She smiled when she saw me.  "I always wondered what it would be like,
having a daughter", she said.  I went over to her and hugged her.  Then I burst
into tears.

"Hey", she said.  "We can't have that.  Don't you like it?"

"Yes, Mom, but that's the trouble.  I like it a lot,"  I said.  "I only just
realised how much".

"Well, then, that settles it for today," she said, drying my eyes.  "You look
beautiful, so long as you don't cry".

She took me into her room and let me use her mascara, which I applied very
sparingly.  She told me I didn't need anything else at my age.  Then she gave me
a casual purse she thought was young enough for me, and a thin gold bracelet with
a diamond pattern on it.  "This was my mother's" she said quietly.  Finally she
popped two thin gold rings in my ears, which were still hurting from yesterday. 
"And these were the first bits of jewellery your father gave me, when I was
seventeen", she said.  I hugged her again, and thought maybe I was going to cry
some more.  She hugged me back, and said in a no-nonsense way  "Enough.  There
are things to be done today".

She made me handwash the bra, panties and pantyhose I'd worn the previous night,
then gave me some nail polish remover and helped me get the polish off my fingers
and toes.  She didn't like the color, which she thought was "cheap",  but she
said I could wear another sometime.  Mom rarely wore it herself, so there wasn't
any in the house fresh enough to use.

Pretty soon we were on our way to Megan's.  I hadn't asked Mom what she thought
was gonna happen when we got there, what she thought Megan and her boyfriend Mark
were gonna say when they saw me.  I figured she must be pretty confident they'd
be cool about it.  In the car the sun on my legs felt great, and I put the seat
back and stretched them out a bit, taking a little snooze for the hour or so the
trip took.  I woke up about ten minutes before we got there, which was enough
time for me to get really nervous about the way I was dressed.  I really liked
Megan, she'd always been really good to me, especially since Dad left, and I was
a little scared of Mark, although I really didn't know him very well.

Finally we reached their house, which was down right on the beach, built out on
poles over the sand with a breathtaking view of the breakers a few yards away. 
As we stood at the front door my Mom gave my hand a squeeze, then Megan opened
the door and smiled warmly at both of us.  "How are you both?  How was the trip
down?"  she asked.

We went in.  I could tell immediately that one of the calls my Mom had made
earlier that morning was to Megan, because she was expecting me as Jenny and
didn't miss a beat when she saw me.  She just acted like I'd always been Jenny. 
Which was cool.  I really liked that.  I didn't want her to make a fuss or
anything.

We went and sat out on the balcony, overlooking the beach.  Two people were
walking along the sand in the distance, but otherwise it was deserted.  It was a
wonderful place, and I said so to Megan, even though I'd been there several times
before.  Mom and Megan began chatting about things, about how life was going for
each of them.  Megan had a new job as an assistant to some guy in the movies,
which she was enjoying although she said the guy was a dork.  As she was saying
this, Mark came out onto the balcony.  He nodded to Mom as he said hello, and was
about to say hi to me when he just stopped.  "Wow", he said, looking me over. "I
was prepared, but not for this."

I blushed.  Megan said "Oh, Mark, calm down."  My mother smiled, and Mark looked
a little embarrassed.

"Sorry", he said.  "I was just kind of expecting a boy in a dress, if you know
what I mean".  Mark was always kind of blunt about what he thought. "I guess I
better make some lunch before I embarrass myself further, huh?

He smiled at me and I felt better.  He had a great smile, I'd never noticed it
quite like that before.

We had lunch, a chicken salad with some great Italian bread.  Afterward my Mom
asked Megan whether it was okay to have a look at the things they'd discussed,
and Megan led me inside to the bedroom.  There were two suitcases at the end of
the bed, with a lot of clothing folded in them. "I wasn't sure," Megan said "
whether you and I would be the same size. I think some of these might need to be
taken up a fraction, and one or two might be a little sophisticated for someone
your age, but ..."

I looked at the suitcases.  My mother frequently called Megan a "clotheshorse"
behind her back, she was always dressed in the very latest fashions, and clearly
spent almost all her meagre paychecks on clothes - but then, as she said, she was
an L.A. girl.  I turned and gave her a hug.  I was a bit overcome.  My Mom looked
on, and smiled at Megan and thanked her for me.

"Well, see what you think", said Megan.

I picked up an item which had been neatly folded.  It was a little creased, but
not too badly.  I held it up to myself, feeling more than a bit self-conscious. 
It was a blue and yellow silk dress, with short sleeves and a thin tie at the
waist, and it felt fantastic.  My mother looked more closely at the label, and
then shook her head.  "We can't take this, Megan.  It's very sweet of you, but
this is a $400 dress."  I looked at the label.  Calvin Klein.

"Yes, but it's two years old", Megan said.  "And to tell you the truth I'm a
little too meaty for it.  You know how Kate Moss looks great in that stuff?  I'm
no Kate Moss.  I don't know what I was thinking when I bought it.  I've only worn
it once.  Besides", she added "Mark gets some of these for me for free when he
does commercials for them, so they don't all cost us that much".

My mother was unconvinced, and made a remark about being the only one in the
family who didn't get to wear designer fashions.  We went through the rest of the
clothes in the cases, mostly skirts and tops and a few dresses.  Almost all of
them were outrageously expensive.  My mother vetoed one dress as being way too
much for a teenager, and I could see that another would be a problem because it
had a very low back and I wouldn't be able to wear a bra with it, but everything
else was amazing.

"I wish I could fit into this stuff," my Mom said more than once.  I started to
feel guilty, until Megan told me that we had to have some kind of fashion show. 
So they went back out to the balcony, and I changed into one outfit after another
and promenaded out to show them.  I started with the plainer stuff, feeling very
self-conscious at first but relaxing as I went along.  When I went out in a red
shantung minidress my mother immediately vetoed it, but I could see Mark's eyes
never left me the whole time I was out there.  I realised I liked that.  The next
outfit was a black miniskirt and pale blue blouse, and I acted a little flirty,
immediately sorry for it because Mark became hugely embarrassed and Mom gave me a
look of strong disapproval.  Megan laughed and laughed.

Most of the clothes got Mom's seal of approval, and so Megan and I went back in
the bedroom and folded them up and packed them neatly in the suitcases.  Megan
looked at me, then hesitated, then put the shantung dress and the Calvin Klein
in, too, underneath everything else.  I grinned, and she held her finger in front
of her lips to indicate that I mustn't say anything.  Finally Megan gave me a
pair of black pumps and a pair of strappy black sandals.  They were a tiny bit
tight, but Megan grinned and told me a girl had to suffer for her art.  We both
laughed.

Before we left Mark and Megan had a quiet conversation in the kitchen while Mom
and I enjoyed the sunshine outside on the balcony.  He carried the suitcases out
to our car for us, and said goodbye as soon as he'd loaded it in the trunk.  Mom
gave him a brief hug, and he said something quietly to her.  He looked at me
hesitantly, then I gave him a small hug, too.  He went back inside as Megan and
Mom were saying their goodbyes.  I hugged Megan, thanked her profusely again and
then got into the car while they talked quietly on the other side of it.  I
figured they were probably discussing me, but I was pretty worn out and I just
wanted to sit down.  I heard my Mom say "as long as it's not weird" and "we'll
have to discuss it", but that was about all I got.