Rose hung up the phone with a click.

"Who was it, honey?" Claire asked.

"Oh, nobody," Rose answered.

Claire tilted her head, letting her luxurious mane of graying salt-and-pepper
hair hang down.  She resumed towelling off from her shower, but continued to look
pointedly at Rose.

Rose smirked back at her, impishly.

Claire snorted.  "The hell you say!  I know that look.  You're starting up with
the neighbors again, aren't you?"

Rose's smirk widened into a grin.

Claire closed her eyes and shook her head.

Rose giggled.

"That's very undignified, in a woman your age."

Rose giggled some more.  "You should talk.  You're fifty-five, if you're a day."

Claire glared at her, and dropped her towel.  She propped her hands on her hips
and posed, naked and still dripping at her elbows and the ends of her hair.

"I ask you," she challenged.  "Does this look like a body that dates back to
1943?"

Rose walked over to her until she stood directly under Claire's chin.  "Yes it
does," she said.  "Wanna make something of it?"

"Nag," hissed Claire.

"Hag," Rose shot back.

"Old biddy."

"Senior citizen."

"Saggy old bag."

"Post-menopausal shrew."

"Kiss me, old woman."

"I thought you'd never ask."

Claire bent toward Rose, her mouth open.  Rose got up on her tiptoes and met
Claire's lips with her own.  For a long moment the two women kissed deeply. Rose
pulled back first, but let her extended tongue twine with Claire's before they
broke off the kiss entirely.  She sank back onto her heels and sighed with
satisfaction.

"You still remember how to kiss, at least," she said.  Claire smiled briefly.
Then she picked up her towel and went back to drying herself off.

"So who was it this time?  Celeste again?" she asked, feigning a lack of
curiosity.

"No," said Rose.  "Too early yet."

"Who, then?  The condo board?"

Rose winked a long, slow wink.  "You know better than that," she said.  "If they
even suspected what was going on in 4B and 4C we'd be out on our fannies in a
minute."

Claire nodded.  "School Board?  Town Council?  Mayor's Office?"

Rose chuckled.  "Those are daytime calls, you know that!  No, it was Janet. You
know, the cute little thing who lives next door to Celeste.  The one with the
husband who's always on the computer."

Claire looked baffled.  "Sure, I know Janet.  But why're you bothering her?"

Rose waggled her eyebrows.  "Groundwork," she said.

Claire looked directly at her.  "You ARE angling for Celeste, after all!  But
what is it this time?  Communists in the classrooms?  The Monica Lewinsky Liberal
Conspiracy?  Recruiting for the Rush Limbaugh in 2000 campaign?"

Rose shook her head no.  "Two words: school band."

"Oh, Jesus H.," said Claire, exasperated.  "Not the trip to Epcot Center!"

Rose nodded gleefully.  "Uh-huh!  And I tacked that on to the Gay Pride Day
celebration they're having.  I tried to talk Janet into an all-out protest to
suspend the trip."

"You can't be serious!"

Rose nodded again, and sank down into the overstuffed chair next to the phone.
"You still haven't figured out why I called Janet, have you?"

Claire looked baffled.

"Because," said Rose, as she picked up the phone.  "When I called Janet, I
mentioned Celeste at least four or five times."  She gestured toward Claire with
the receiver.  "She may not have been listening to me, but she heard me say
'Celeste.'  And she lives right next door, so it's only natural for her to look
out the window at Celeste's house when I said her name."

Claire looked sharply at Rose.

Rose smiled gaily and punched the speed-dial button on the phone, then '69.' "And
now is when Celeste finishes grading English papers and turns on the computer..."

Claire's eyes widened as she began to understand where this was going.

Rose listened to the boop-beep of the touch tones.  "And you KNOW how she is when
she has an audience.  Why d'you think she never bought any curtains for the damn
win--  Oh!  Hello, dear" she continued, in an altogether different voice.  "Would
Celeste happen to be home?  It's Rose.  That's right, dear.  I really must talk
to your wife, dear.  Oh, yes, it's about something very important.  She is?  How
wonderful.  Could you put her on, please?  Oh, thank you..."

"Husband," Rose muttered out of the corner of her mouth, away from the receiver. 
"That's a great sign -- if they're together already, they must be up to
something."

Claire looked at Rose with something like awe.  Rose grinned tightly.  "Oh,
hel-LO, dear," she said into the phone.  "I was just sitting at home all alone
this evening when I said to myself, 'I declare, it's just been ages since I've
called dear Celeste, so--  Oh!  Why am I calling?  Well, it's about the band.
That's right, the high school band.  Have you heard about this ghastly trip to
Florida that they're planning?  That's right, to that horrible Walt Disney theme
park... Why, are you all right, dear?  You seem to be a bit out of breath.  Oh,
did I make you run to get the phone like that?  I'm so terribly sorry..."  Rose
smirked at Claire.  "But to get back to the band, Celeste.  Do you really KNOW
what these Disney people are REALLY like?  If you did you would never allow this
trip, no, not for a minute.  Let me tell you, Celeste..."

As Rose talked, she gestured to Claire to come closer.  "And I'm telling you,
Celeste," she continued, "it could mean the end of morality as we know it. Isn't
that right?"  Rose paused for a moment, and grinned at Claire.  "It's so
wonderful that you understand where I'm coming from, Celeste.  If there's one
thing I can always count on, it's Celeste talking in monosyllables while her
husband eats her out during our phone conversations.  I'm going to put you on
speakerphone now, Celeste, so that both of us can hear the sound of you being
lapped like an ice-cream cone.  That's all right, isn't it, Celeste?"

As she spoke, Rose punched the speaker button on the phone base and gently
cradled the receiver.  A second later, on cue, Rose and Claire heard Celeste's
voice waft out of the phone speaker.  "Uh-huh," she said in a distracted tone.
Claire looked over at Rose.  "How did you know?" she mouthed silently.  Rose
nodded, and grinned again.

"Now, Celeste," she said in a firm voice.  "I'm telling someone Disney Liberals
who's sitting here with me that rampant lesbians you're not listening at all. I'm
showing her immoral homosexuals that if I sprinkle my sentences with a few
corrupt our youths, you'll have no idea that I know what's going on.  Isn't that
so, Celeste?"

There was a brief pause, and then a strained "uh-huhhh" from Celeste.  "That's
right, dear," Rose said.  "You just keep on enjoying your husband's tongue while
he licks you around and around and sticks it way up inside you.  I can hear the
smacking, you know.  That wet smacking sound that your box is making while he
uses his nasty tongue to get you off.  Disgusting, isn't it, Celeste?!"

"Um... Uh-huhh... Uh-huhhhh."

Claire put her ear close to the speaker and listened closely.  Sure enough, she
could hear a rhythmic wet sound in the background, and if she concentrated she
could hear Celeste's breathing quicken and catch in her throat.  Her eyes went
round, and then narrowed thoughtfully.  Meanwhile, Rose was having a grand time.

"Oh, that's very nice Celeste.  It is a wonder to find a good Christian marriage
in this day and age.  I can only imagine how much your husband must have to do to
keep a ravenous creature like you away from all those horny young teenagers you
teach.  He must have to prong you day and night with that hot little tongue and
his big hard dick to keep you faithful!  Like a pair of horny little bunnies,
that's what you two are.  Did you hear what I said, Celeste?"

"Uh!  Huh!"

"Celeste, you hot little number.  You must be getting close.  Already?  I'd have
thought you could go on like this for hours.  Oh!  Oh my, Celeste.  If you were
listening, you'd really like this.  I think listening to you and your man has
gotten to my friend.  Do you want to hear what she's doing to me now, Celeste?"

"Oh!  Yes!  Uh-HUH!"

Rose looked down at Claire, who had positioned herself in front of her chair,
between her legs.  She lifted her bottom off the seat as the other woman wedged
her shorts down and pulled them off.  "Well, Celeste," Rose said, her voice
level.  "The woman I've been telling you about -- you know, the one between my
legs?  Well, she's got my shorts off and now she's running her hands up my legs,
to my thighs.  Oh, Celeste!  I must say that this does feel great!  But I'm sure
you know that already, since you're way ahead of us.  Right?"

While the two women waited for Celeste to answer, Claire spread Rose's pussy lips
apart and started to lick her muff with broad, firm strokes.  Rose's eyes rolled
back in ecstasy, and she spread her legs wider.  She cleared her throat.
"Er-hmmm, I said, right?"

The answering moan was thick and passionate.  "Um-HUMMMMMM!"

Claire slid her hands under Rose's asscheeks and lifted her pelvis higher.  Her
mouth moved furiously as she attacked Rose's cunt with ferocious stabs of her
tongue.  The unexpected assault sent Rose soaring, and she struggled to keep the
arousal out of her voice.  The effort lent an odd, singsong quality to her
speech.

"Why, Ce-LESTE!  I do believe you're a-BOUT to reach your OR-gasm!  I'm doing
pretty well here my-SELF, I must say.  It's getting so HARD to stop myself from
SCREAM-ing, this is so in-CRED-ible!  Well, I guess one good HEAD job deserves
a-NOTH-er, wouldn't you say?"

Celeste didn't answer, but the rising pitch of her moans made it clear that she
was reaching her peak.  Rose tried to keep talking, but Claire's oral
ministrations made coherence impossible.  So Rose let loose with a torrent of
babbling, grunting "Disney reprobates hah-hah-hah-homosexu-ahhh
immo-oh-oh-ohhhhh!" as Claire's practiced tongue drover her over the edge. Rose's
orgasm was short and explosive and, fortunately, mostly silent.  By the time she
cleared some of the stars from her eyes, she realized that Celeste was saying
something.

"--simply letting gays and lesbians do their own thing.  Nobody is going to be
copulating on the midway. I'm sure the gays and lesbians are every bit as
discreet as heterosexuals."

"Now, Celeste," Rose answered, desperately trying to sound like she hadn't just
cum like blazes.  "Discretion may be fine, but how can we really trust those
people, especially with our children.  We both know that anyone degenerate enough
to have homosexual relations might try anything.  Ugh!  How can these people DO
that?" she said in disgust.  Rose winked broadly at Claire, who was smiling up at
her wickedly, her lips glistening with Rose's juices.

Rose smiled back at Claire, forgetting for a moment that she had stopped talking
to Celeste.  Then, out of the speaker, came a long, loud SLURP followed by
Celeste's voice saying "uh-huh."

Rose giggled and then caught herself.  "Now, Celeste," she said sternly.  "You
know that I didn't say anything!  Why, I'll bet you just said 'uh-huh' to pretend
you were listening to me."

"Uh-huh."

"Why, I'd even bet you're not even holding the phone anymore!  From the way that
slurping sounds, I'd guess that you're proba--"

"Uh-huh."

"Sloppy, Celeste.  Don't interrupt, or I'll suspect you're not paying any
attention at all."

There was a short pause on the line, and then Celeste's voice: "urrr-hurrrm."

Rose giggled again.  "Don't talk with your mouth full, Celeste!  And I bet I know
what it's full of, too!"  She stared at the phone speaker, listening closely to
the slurping noises of Celeste's mouth on her husband's cock.  She didn't notice
when Claire left the room, or when she returned moments later.

The slurping noises had stopped, but Celeste didn't seem to be on the phone. Rose
listened carefully, and she thought she could hear the phone being jostled.  Then
the speakerphone emitted a series of curious squeaks.  These were followed by a
huff of breath from Celeste, as if she was resettling herself in position.  Rose
leaned out of her seat to press her ear close to the speaker.  As she tried to
picture what was going on at Celeste's, she felt Claire's hands at her waist. 
Still concentrating on Celeste, Rose absently let Claire guide her body until she
was turned around on her chair and kneeling on the seat cushion.  Rose leaned her
weight on the seat-back and tilted it until her face was close to the speaker.

"Celeste?" she said.  "Are you there?"  In response she heard a thumping, then
the clunk of a can or some kind of container.  There was a quick squirting sound
of something wet, and then Celeste was speaking again.  Rose listened closely,
unmindful of an echoing squirt behind her from Claire's direction.

"You know, Rose," Celeste was saying, sounding a little irritated.  "I don't
think Minnie and Mickey were ever married!"

Rose leaned forward to hear, and then gasped as she felt something firm and slick
press into her from behind.  Not wanting to betray that to Celeste, she said the
first thing that popped into her mind: "uh-huh!"

The long thick something pushed deeper and deeper inside Rose's pussy.  Perched
on the chair, she spread her legs as wide as they could go and welcomed the
intruder by extending her hands behind her to spread her labia wider.  She was
rewarded with a deep, smooth penetration that felt like it went up to her
tonsils.  Rose moaned happily into her chair as Claire fucked her rigorously with
the strap-on dildo she was wearing.  As the thrusts continued, Rose rose back to
meet them and bucked her hips at each impact.

Although every pore of her was absorbed by the unexpected fucking she was
receiving, Rose did her best to lead Celeste on.  She serenaded Celeste with
half-sentences, sprinkled with occasional pleas to Claire to fuck her harder. Her
phone partner must have been getting some tremendous dicking herself, because all
Celeste ever said in response was "uh-huh!"

When Claire stopped pumping long enough to insert the tip of her middle finger
just inside Rose's asshole, Rose was sure that her near-scream of pleasure would
alert Celeste to what was happening.  But Celeste only said "uh-huh" again, and
then made some murky comment about Huey, Duey, and Louie having an all-male
all-mallard orgy.  Then Claire vengefully thrust her long finger deep inside
Rose's rosebud, penetrating her to the core.  Rose, awash with incredibly intense
pleasure, shrieked and flailed with her hands.  Again and again Claire plunged
into her, until Rose was overwhelmed by a thunderous orgasm of titanic
proportions.  She let loose with an ear-splitting scream that echoed as it faded
away, leaving her whole body trembling and shaking.

Claire let her real and artificial digits ooze out of a semi-comatose Rose, who
slid onto the floor beside her lover.  They sat together quietly, holding each
other.  Claire broke the silence first.  "Celeste," she murmured.  "Did she hear
everything?"

Rose smiled weakly.  "If she didn't, she's going deaf."  She rose toher knees and
crawled toward the phone.  Miraculously, the 'speakerphone' light was off.

"I must have hit it while we were fucking," Rose croaked in relief.  "I don't
know when, but I can guess."

Claire chuckled.  "I don't think Celeste really heard anything," she said.  "I
think she was pretty busy getting fucked herself."

"Think so?" Rose asked.

"Sure!" said Claire.  "What do you think all that squeaking and shuffling was? I
bet her husband was doing the same thing to her that I was to you -- turning her
around and giving it to her from behind, right there on the chair.  Maybe," she
whispered lasciviously, "he even did her ass!"

"No!" Rose exclaimed.  "Right there on the computer chair?"

Claire winked knowingly.  "I'll bet they even left the shades wide open.  Maybe
Janet was even watching them.  Wouldn't that be great?  If Janet fucked that cute
computer-geek husband of hers while they watched Celeste and her husband
ass-fucking?"

Rose laughed aloud and playfully pinched Claire's right nipple.  "You nasty girl!
 You're worse than me!  All I did was call Celeste on the phone -- you're the one
coming up with these crazy anal voyeur fantasies!"

Claire waggled her eyebrows like Groucho Marx.  "Speaking of cumming, my dear..."

Rose chuckled.  "That's right, I guess I owe you two."  She got up off the floor
and extended her hand to Claire.  "Come on, then, ma'am," she said. Glancing at
the strap-on around Claire's waist she amended "or sir, if that's who you are."

The two women plopped down on the couch, and Rose hit the remote.  "Look!  It's
time for 'Ellen'!  You watch for suspicious alternative lifestyles, and I'll
perform some degenerate acts on you while you're watching."

"And then...?" Claire asked.

"I dunno," Rose said absently as she tugged at the dildo straps.  "Maybe we can
go online and find something fun to read.  Who knows?  Maybe Celeste will even
write about this in that thing she posts to the newsgroups."

"What thing?" asked Claire.

"Oh, you don't know?" Rose asked, amused.  "Well, I wouldn't want to spoil it for
you.  Why don't you ask Celeste about it when you see her at work tomorrow?"

Claire blushed as Rose laughed at her.  "That reminds me... I DO have papers of
my own to grade, you know."  Rose smiled gently and reached up to kiss Claire on
the lips.  "Do it later," she pleaded softly.

"All right," Claire answered.  "All right."

"Now," Rose said in her best 'Latin Lover' accent.  "Enough with the love-talk.
Eet's time to get to the lahveeng."

"Si, si!" Claire cackled.  "Si!  Let's..."

She giggled as her voice trailed off.  "Say -- did you get that?"

Rose was baffled.  "Get it?  'Si si si let's'?  I don't..."

Then she did, and as they sank down together on the couch in a passionate
embrace, they both murmured her name.

"Celeste..."