I invited Brian to dinner the week following the final exam in our class. I can't remember what pretext I was using, since the class was over by then. I guess we both just assumed that we were past the point of no return by then, so he politely ignored the fact that we had no real excuse to get together. My parents were out of town, and I badly wanted some company. I was very lonely at home alone, and still a little disoriented from the breakup with Mark. If I ended up getting some affection, too -- well, that was OK with me, but I convinced myself that it wasn't the main reason for asking him to dinner. After the spaghetti, we began watching a movie. Brian commented that the screen was hard to see with all of the lights on, and asked if we could turn them off. I turned the lights off and asked if that was better. He agreed that he could see the TV much better that way. We were sitting next to each other on the couch, and he began tilting his head as if his neck was bothering him. "Could I ask you a big favor?" he began. "What?" "Can I get you to rub my neck? It's really hurting today and you give such great neck rubs." He smiled at me sweetly. Well, OK, then. Clearly he was initiating things, so I didn't have to feel guilty that I had started it all again. "Sure, Brian. Why don't you sit here," I provocatively pointed to the area on the floor between my now slightly spread legs, "and then I can reach you better." He quickly positioned himself so that I could reach his neck and shoulders. As I began massaging him, he expressed his pleasure with moans and sighs that sounded very sexual. I continued rubbing, quite sure where this could be headed. He suddenly turned, got to his knees, and without saying anything placed one hand on either side of my face, tilted my head, and began kissing me. We moved very quickly from light kisses to hard, deep kisses. I was responding directly to him, staying with him as the pace intensified, rather than resisting it. There was an new urgency to his kissing that had never been there before that night, and he was clearly already quite excited. "Can we turn that off?" He was referring to the movie. I reached for the remote and the room became totally dark. "Uh, maybe that's too dark," I tried to get up to turn one of the lights back on. "No, that's fine," he insisted, pulling me off the couch and down onto his lap. I could feel his erection very clearly. "God, I can't resist you!" he whispered, his hands pulling my hips tightly against him. I wanted very much to give him something in return for the other afternoon's "favors". I reached for the button and zipper on his shorts, and suddenly remembered him telling me about the most erotic food-related experience he had ever had. He had described one time when Jennifer had been eating raspberries, and started to lick and suck his cock with her mouth still wet and sticky with raspberry juices. I thought that sounded pretty sexy, and told him that I had never experienced anything like that. I also told him that I did not allow Mark to come in my mouth, although he had "accidentally" done it a few times, anyhow. Brian laughed at that and said that it had probably been "no accident!" He said that Jennifer always did allow it (even without the raspberries), but did not seem surprised that I didn't at that point. I gently reminded him of this fact by stating, "warn me!" His dick was a little longer and thinner than the one I was used to. This was actually a bit easier for me to deal with. I began licking him and eventually took him partly into my mouth and began sucking on him. This was not really an area of expertise for me at this point, even though I had done it many, many times with Mark. But, what I lacked in technique I probably made up for in eagerness, and Brian stopped me before he came. "Let's save it," he suggested, kissing me as a means of thanking me. He then rolled over and gently pushed me so that I was laying down on my back. He reached for my shorts and panties. "I think we should take these off," he said, already removing them, but leaving my shirt on in his rush. I had no opportunity to respond to that because he very quickly lowered his head to my throbbing pussy and began licking and sucking me. It was as exquisite as I remembered from the previous time. Suddenly he stopped, moved up so that he could kiss me, and positioned his body above mine as if he were about to -- "Hey, what are you doing?!?" I asked. "What do you think I'm doing, Renae?" he sounded a little exasperated at the interruption. I had about two second to make a decision on this. I knew with complete certainly that he would stop if I told him to, and probably even apologize. I also knew that I wasn't really sure I wanted him to stop. A part of me wanted a new "first second" tonight, but I had never intended for things to go this far with him. This was not a decision I wanted to make in two seconds! "Will you wear a condom if I go get one?" I asked. This whole situation was insane, but at least part of my brain was still working. "Yes, but hurry up!" He rolled off of me and sounded exasperated. I walked to my purse in the next room and retrieved the two colored condoms that my best friend had given me jokingly when Mark and I had broken up ("Here. You'll need these eventually."). I silently thanked her for insisting that I take them even though I was *sure* I would not need them any time soon. "Here," I handed him one of the condoms and dropped the other on the floor, then pulled off the shirt I was still wearing before sitting down in front of him. Brian seemed to break some speed records putting in on, then quickly positioned me on my back with my knees bent. He then kneeled in front of me and entered me very quickly. This was actually a new position for me, and I was looking forward to another new experience. After about three strokes he suddenly groaned and came. He immediately cursed, "Damn!" Then he started laughing as he quickly pulled out of me. "Well, that was disillusioning, wasn't it?" Well, actually, yes. "It's OK." "Jesus, how embarrassing." He quickly began dressing, and I did the same. "I've got to go," he said. So much for afterplay! I followed him to the door, rather speechless about evening's events. "Thanks for the spaghetti," he said, kissing me very quickly before he left. Thanks for the spaghetti? Thanks for the SPAGHETTI?!? "Bye," I said, after he closed the door. I was completely shocked and sat down to try to figure out why he had left. I knew that lots of men come too soon when they are very excited, but... I mean, we could have tried again! Despite the strange ending to the night, I was still pleased that I had finally experienced sex with a man other than numero uno. I called my best friend and told her that I had put the pink condom to good use that night. ================== EROTIC FOOLISHNESS by Renae Nicks PART 4: MAKING AMENDS A few nights after the sexual fiasco, Brian showed up at the house at about 11:30 PM. My parents were still out of town. Surprisingly, I was still awake when he drove up, and I used the intercom to determine who was at the door. "It's Brian," he explained. I quickly turned off the alarm and opened the door. "What are you doing here?" I was surprised to see him. "Well, I was sort of in the neighborhood." This was a blatant lie, because our house was many miles from anywhere that he was likely to be. "Oh, well. It's nice to see you," I mentally finished with, "I think." "Come on it and sit down," I remembered my manners. I was wearing just a night shirt that did not quite come down to my knees, and a pair of panties. "Maybe I should go get dressed," I offered. "No, don't do that. You're fine." He sat down on one of the chairs. I smelled alcohol. "Have you been drinking? And then driving?" I was upset by this. "Just a little. I wanted to see you." He pulled me towards him and sat me down on his knees, which were together. "I really wanted to see you," he reiterated. "Show me your room," he abruptly requested. I stood up and started walking down the hall with him following me. "You'll be pleased to know that I'm not pregnant," I informed him. "In fact, I've got my period right now." I wanted him to understand that this was not a great sexual opportunity for us, whether or not I might want it to be. He didn't comment, but continued to follow me. "This is it." I waved my arm towards the inside of the room. He immediately went and sat down on the solid edge of my waterbed. "Come here," he suggested. I sat down beside him. "Why don't you just relax and lay down." I stayed where I was. He stood up and turned off the bedroom light so that just the hall light was shining into the room, then returned to the bed and started talking to me. "I felt bad about how things ended the other night," he started. Well, that sounded contrite. "Yes, the spaghetti comment was pretty bad," I stated. "I just didn't know what to do at the time." Fair enough, I guessed. "I wanted to make it up to you," he explained, reaching out his hand to touch the side of my face. "Well, I already told you, we're a little limited with what we can do today." "That's OK." He leaned over and started kissing me. It felt very, very nice. I allowed him to re-position me so that I was laying down. As we continued to kiss and I moved my body against his, my night shirt started inching up my legs and eventually ended up bunched around my waist. Brian's hand moved up the inner side of my thigh and he began to slip a finger under the elastic edge of my panties. "Ummm-" I began. "Hush. I know. Don't worry about it." This, too, was new to me. A man who wasn't shy about a woman's period? Brian kept his hand in that slightly intimate position for the moment, and went back to kissing me. I relaxed again. I'm sure that Brian would have touched me more if I had let him, but he must have sensed my extreme discomfort about the situation because he did not go any further. I have often wondered since that night just what he would have been willing to do to me if I had allowed it. After a while, he said, "I want to show you something. Do you have any hand lotion?" Hand lotion? "What?" I was nervous, trying to figure out what the lotion was for. "Why do you want hand lotion?" I demanded. "Just trust me and get the lotion," he suggested. There was actually some lotion on the night stand beside us, so I reached over and grabbed it for him. "Thanks. This is something you should experience at least once," he explained, smiling. He then pulled my night shirt over my head, leaving my panties on. After warming some lotion up in his hands, he smeared in on my chest, leaving large amounts of it in the area between my breasts. Since I had never even heard of a man "fucking" a woman between her breasts, I was still pretty bewildered. He then went on to make some comment about how lots of guys liked this, as he undressed. I was too stunned to say anything as he started moving his cock up and down my breastbone, using his hands to hold my 34C breasts against it. After a short while I realized that I thought this was pretty sexy. I closed my eyes and listened to the pace of his breathing and his soft moans. He came fairly quickly, allowing his semen to cover my entire chest. "It's good for your skin," he whispered, rubbing it in to my chest. "It is?" I was shocked. Mark *never* came on me. He always came in me, in a condom, or in a tissue, but he was very clean about it no matter what. Brian kissed me again briefly, and suggested that maybe we should get into the shower to clean up. I agreed, although this was going to be yet another new experience for me. He left the bathroom light off, using the hall light again as a source of diffuse lighting. I appreciated his respect for my obvious modesty. His body was absolutely gorgeous, and I was thrilled to touch every inch of him as I washed him. He returned the attention, carefully washing off all of the sticky residue he had left on me. After a very sweet kiss good-bye, Brian left the house and essentially left my life that night. He called me the next day to tell me that he couldn't see me any more because he felt too guilty about what he was doing to Jennifer. "Even though she doesn't know about this, I still feel like this is hurting her." He continued, "I've started to think about you when I'm with her, which isn't fair to her at all." He ended by saying, "I'm always going to remember my time with you." I was angry about this at the time, but later realized that he was right to end it. What we had been doing was not fair to Jennifer, nor was it really fair to me. I will always be grateful to Brian for the many things he taught me about sexual desire, and especially for teaching me that I still had a LOT more to learn about sex.