Change Of Life (Romance, little explicit sex) [4/5]

Change of Life, pt 4

Jacqui telepathically explained the situation to her Master.  He looked
over to his secondary and said, "James, take over.  Jacqui, go get the
Akashic Master's children and bring them straight to the Masters'
conference room.  If anybody interferes, say you're doing it on my
authority.  The entries are already in the computer database.  Go!"

Jacqui quickly ran back to the entry room, and, after explaining the
situation to the receptionist, got the girls.  She brought them to the
conference room and waited.  The Virtual Adept Master teleported in first,
with the other Masters coming in shortly thereafter.  After the eight
Masters were present, Sensei Nakayama, as Joe's appointed replacement,
teleported in.

The Hermetic Master, always one to grandstand, started.  "Alright, Virtual
Adept, why did you call this meeting and why are we approached by a girl
barely two years out of apprenticeship and two mundanes?"

The Verbena Mistress said, "Are you truly so arrogant that you would not
recognize the right of two of the Akashic Master's children to address this
council?"

The Virtual Adept Master said, "Enough!  I called this emergency council
meeting!  You both violate protocol by not letting me handle this as I
choose!"  The Verbena Mistress apologized, but the Hermetic Master just
nodded his head in deference.  The Virtual Adept Master said, "Jacqui."

Jacqui quickly explained the situation and asked for help to retrieve the
Akashic Master.  After she was finished, the Virtual Adept Master said, "I
move that we send a group after the Akashic Master to convince him to
return to the consensual reality."

The Verbena Mistress quickly said, "Seconded."

The Hermetic Master said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I disagree.  Much as we
may all disagree with what the Akashic Master is doing, he has a right to
choose his own path.  We have no right to stop him, much less bring him
back."

The Verbena Mistress replied, "His choice is based on rage and loss.  It is
not a rational one."

"All the more reason not to get involved.  The fact that it is not rational
means he will be less likely to give it up.  So what happens if we confront
him and he refuses to return?  Do we just leave him?  Or will whoever goes
after him have to escort him until his suicide mission reaches its
inevitable conclusion?  Because forcing him is not an option, not unless
you plan on sacrificing the lives of our people uselessly."

The Verbena Mistress said, "Fine, I will make going after him a personal
project.  No realm resources need be used."

The Cult of Ecstasy Mistress said, "Then you will most likely fail.  I have
peered into the future.  If we are to succeed in convincing the Akashic
Master to return, then the Dreamspeaker Master, Norma, and Jacqui must be
the ones to go after him.  The Dreamspeaker Master for his skill and
knowledge of the Umbra, Jacqui for her light, and Norma for her connection
to the Akashic Master."

The Hermetic Master said, "But this still doesn't say why we should expend
the energy in the first place.  The issue is the Akashic Master's right to
choose his own path."

Master Nakayama said, "The issue is betrayal.  When you betrayed him the
last time, there was almost a mass exodus then.  Only the previous Akashic
Master speaking on behalf of you, urging patience and forgiveness,
prevented that from happening.  The Akashic Brotherhood will not suffer the
betrayal of their Master."

"But you could speak to them, convince them not to leave."

"If you betray the Akashic Master again, I shall be the first to leave."
The Hermetic Master started to protest, but Master Nakayama said, "It might
be different if this required some huge expenditure of energy, but the Cult
of Ecstasy Mistress has stated that the goal desired may be achieved by
just committing three people to the task, one of whom is not even a part of
this base to deny.  Refuse to commit even this minimal effort and you lose
the Akashic Brotherhood."

The Dreamspeaker Master said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am fully willing to
go after the Akashic Master.  So unless there are some objections to my
bringing one Virtual Adept and one child along..."  The Dreamspeaker Master
waited, and when there were none, he said, "Then I guess we're finished."

The other Masters all disappeared, and the Dreamspeaker Master stepped down
and said, "Are you two ready to go?"

Inya asked, "What about me?"

Jacqui said, "Hun, somebody has got to go back and explain what's going on
to everybody.  Your grandmother and the rest of your family are probably
frantic with worry."

"I suppose so."

Jacqui gave Inya a kiss on the cheek.  "We'll bring your dad back."

After Inya left, the Dreamspeaker Master brought them to a gate, and they
stepped through into the Umbra.

************

Inya called Julie from the space gate house as soon as she arrived.  Julie
quickly picked her up and brought her home.  When she was home, she got
everybody together and explained what had happened.  Julie nearly broke
down in tears, and everybody else started discussing what had transpired.
The only one who remained silent was Jeremy, and at some point Laurie
noticed he had slipped away.

She decided to find him.  For some reason, Jeremy had been lethargic and
withdrawn ever since Bronwyn's death, but had refused to discuss it, and
Laurie decided it was time to have it out.

She found him out by the woodpile.  Once, when she had been visiting,
Bronwyn had taken her upstairs and they had watched Joe reduce a collection
of logs into firewood using nothing more than his bare hands.  Now Jeremy
was doing much the same thing, except he was reducing firewood to sawdust
using the power of the Dark One.

He had stripped off his shirt and was working in nothing more than a tank
top undershirt.  Laurie enjoyed a moment of admiration for his body before
stepping out into the yard.  He destroyed another log, and she said, "Any
good at making something other than sawdust?"

He just gave her a cold stare as he put another chunk of wood on the
chopping block.  As he charged his hand with Dark Power and destroyed the
piece of wood, Laurie said, "I can't help but remember you telling me that
sometimes a man uses violence as a release in place of tears."

Jeremy put another piece of wood on the block.  "So?"

"So seeing you here, I can't help wondering," Laurie waited for him to
destroy the piece of wood, "what it is you feel the need to cry for."

Jeremy put another hunk of wood on the block.  "What's the matter?  Female
intuition failing you?" he said, destroying the wood.

Laurie almost said something nasty in reply, but bit it back.  This wasn't
the time for it.  "At first guess, I'd have to say you're blaming yourself
for Bronwyn's death."

"Bronwyn's death and everything that follows.  If I had succeeded in
destroying that Fomori, Bronwyn would be alive, and we wouldn't be worrying
about the life of the world's greatest monster fighter."

"Fomori?  Is that what that thing was called?"  Jeremy nodded.  "Jeremy,
you did your best.  You almost died yourself."

"Maybe I should've died.  After all, Bronwyn died protecting me."

"You did all that you could.  Bronwyn did what she had to as high priestess
of the Sisterhood."

"But it's not supposed to be like that.  The Brotherhood is supposed to be
the front line against the forces of darkness.  If anybody is supposed to
be sacrificing their life, it's us."

"Look, I know how you feel-"

"Do you?  Do you have any idea what it's like to know that if you had just
pushed a little harder, done a little better, then the people you love
would be spared a whole lot of pain?"

Tears came to Laurie's eyes.  "Yes.  Don't forget, I was there, too.  Do
you know how many times I've run over that scene in my mind, wondering what
I could've done different that would've changed things?  Wondering if maybe
I'd've gotten to Bronwyn a second or two earlier I could've saved her life?"

"But if I had done my job it wouldn't even be an issue."

Laurie almost said something more, but swallowed it back.  "Look, we can
play the 'Who's more at fault?' game all night, but right now those people
in there need both of us.  And we have a responsibility to put our personal
problems aside for their sake."

Jeremy was silent for a few seconds before saying, "You're right."

Laurie turned to go back into the house and Jeremy said, "Laurie?"  After
she turned back, he said, "I'm sorry.  I should've considered how you were
feeling.  I should've realized that you were going through the same things
I was."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not.  Here I am going on about what I could've done to make
things easier for the people I love, and one of the people I care for most
is suffering and I'm doing nothing."

Laurie gave him a weak smile.  "You care for me?  Even with all the arguing
we do?"

Jeremy gave her a crooked smile.  "I argue with you because it's so much
fun.  Are you telling me you don't do it for the same reasons?"

Laurie almost started another argument to deny it, but had to stop and
smile.  "I suppose I do."  She turned away from him and said, just loud
enough to ensure she was heard, "Jack-ass."

Jeremy didn't say anything, but did smile as he followed her into the house.

************

Jacqui, the Dreamspeaker Master, and Norma entered the spiritual realm of
the Goddess.  They traveled down the long hallway to her private chamber,
but were surprised by what they found when they got there.  One wall had
literally been blasted apart on a primordial level, and it looked as though
the Umbra itself had been merged with the room.  They saw the Goddess in
the center of the room gazing on them as though nothing were wrong.  "Good
day, Jacqui, Dreamspeaker, young Norma."

The Dreamspeaker Master asked, "Great Lady, what happened?"

"This?  Simply a result of the Akashic Master's grief."

"He attacked you?"

"No.  He attacked my realm.  This is mere property damage.  Far more
serious is the damage within his soul."

"But what did happen?"

"The Akashic Master came to me, demanding to be sent beyond to Bronwyn.  I
explained that Bronwyn had not yet come to my presence, and thus had not
yet passed beyond.  He then asked to know where she was, and I said I
didn't know.  I explained that if I touched her with my presence she would
pass beyond, and I had been forced to block my connection with her to give
her a chance to return.  He then used his Time senses to see her departure
from my realm, and saw her being escorted out of here by an unknown figure.
He demanded to know who it was, but I couldn't tell him."

"Couldn't, Mistress?  No one could enter your realm without you knowing
exactly who it was.  Therefore it must've been wouldn't, Milady."

"No, Running Wolf, I am bound by my oaths.  I swore an oath to do nothing
to reveal the identity of the one who removed Bronwyn from my realm.  But
it was that fact that the Akashic Master used to demand the knowledge of
who had Bronwyn.  When I refused, he begged, and when I still refused, he
did this," she said waving her hand at the tear in the side of her reality.
"He then stormed out of here to try to find her.  Unfortunately, he's
looking in the wrong place entirely.  He has assumed that one of his old
enemies has taken her from here.  He seeks her out in Hell, Dreamspeaker.
You must go to him, before he is destroyed by his own grief."

"Thank you, ma'am."  He took Jacqui and Norma by the hand and led them from
the realm.

The Goddess looked to the rending of her space.  "Akashic, your wife is
safe, but you are not.  Do not allow your despair to dominate you."

************

Julie sat alone in the bedroom just staring at Bronwyn's body.  Laurie came
in and said, "Julie, are you ready?  The other Sisters are here and we need
to get started on deciding on a new High Priestess."

Julie replied, "Do you think that maybe we could put this off?  Maybe Joe
will be successful and return Bronwyn to us."

"And if he isn't?"  Julie cringed.  "Sorry, hun."

"That's okay.  I know you're just trying to be practical.  It's just that
if I think about Joe failing, I have to think about him not coming back."
Julie looked to Laurie with tears in her eyes.  "Laurie, I've only had a
couple years with him since his return to me.  I know I'm being selfish,
but part of me wants him to forget about Bronwyn and return to me.  Is that
so wrong?"

Laurie remained silent for a few seconds.  "Part of me is shocked to hear
you say that, but I've been wondering what would I be thinking if it was
Jacqui who was off on some chase after someone she loved.  I remember Joe
telling me that Jacqui's power would be limited only by her training and
spiritual power.  I have to realize the fact that one day Jacqui may have
the power to accomplish what Joe is trying now.  And I think if I had to
make a choice between my child and Bronwyn, not only would I choose Jacqui,
I have to believe Bronwyn would want me to choose Jacqui over her as well."

Julie sighed.  "Well, I guess we better get to this."

The two women walked downstairs where the other members of the Sisterhood's
best awaited.  Patricia welcomed them with a hug, then said, "Once any
member of the Sisterhood reaches our level she should only HAVE to meet
with the rest of us once in her lifetime.  Now, we've met twice in as many
years.  I don't suppose there's any chance we'll have a white knight come
riding to our rescue once again?"

Laurie gave a small smile.  "You're getting spoiled, Patty.  Shall we get
on with it?"

"Indeed.  Have you prepared Bronwyn's body for final rites?"

Laurie remained silent for a few seconds.  "I... haven't been able to."

The women were surprised.  "Why not?"

Laurie debated it.  She had wanted to keep Joe's mission secret so as to
not raise any false hopes.  "Because Joe has wrapped her body in an
impenetrable force field, so that we couldn't."

"Why?"

Laurie waited for a few seconds before saying, "Because he's gone on a
quest to try to retrieve her soul and bring her back to her body."

Tara asked, "Can he really do that?  And, if so, why are we discussing a
replacement for her?"

Julie said, "Because all the people from his group we've talked to agree.
The possibility of his accomplishing this is next to nothing, and in all
likelihood, he will die trying."

The girls were stunned.  Tara said, "Julie, I'm sorry."

Elaine asked, "Is there any chance he'll succeed?"

"They say it's possible, just not likely."

Patty said, "I'd like to recommend that until we know one way or the other,
we table discussions of a permanent replacement for Bronwyn.  Custom says
we're supposed to prepare the body before selecting a replacement anyways."

Laurie said, "Hold on.  Even if we don't select a permanent replacement, we
still need to choose an interim replacement."

Tara quickly said, "How about you, Laurie?  You've already been handling
all the details anyways."

"Now wait a second-"

Ignoring her, Patty said, "Seconded.  All those in favor?"

Before Laurie could say a thing, all the girls said, "Aye!"

Patty grabbed Laurie's hand and shook it.  "Congratulations, Laurie, you're
the interim High Priestess."  The girls then left the house, leaving a
stunned Laurie sitting across from Julie.

Laurie turned to face Julie.  Julie had her hand over her mouth, but even
behind it, Laurie could tell she had a smile a mile wide.  "You do know
what the term 'railroaded' means?" Laurie asked.

Julie nodded.  "And I can even see the tracks running up and down your face."

Laurie shook her head and laughed.

************

When the three of them appeared in the realm know only as 'Hell', they were
standing in front of what seemed to be a great set of iron doors 50 feet
high built into the side of a wall that extended up so high that the top
couldn't be seen.  Standing in front of the door was an Olde world demon,
man from the waist up, with tiny horns on his head, jet black hair and a
goatee, and a goat's body below the waist.

The Dreamspeaker Master turned to Jacqui and whispered, "Whatever you do,
do not attempt to fight unless given no option, and then fight only to get
out and return here and leave."

"Yes, sir."

The Dreamspeaker Master walked up to the guardian of the gate and said, "We
seek entry to Hell.  What bargain will you strike to let us gain admission?"

"Sorry," the demon replied, "Hell is closed, come back tomorrow."

The Dreamspeaker Master was stunned.  Jacqui came up to him and asked,
"What's wrong?"

"Never before have I been denied outright.  At times, the bargains I have
had to strike have had to be very steep, but never before have they just
said no without recourse to bargaining."

"Any idea why?"

"None."  The Dreamspeaker Master said to he demon, "Sir, we are prepared to
pay greatly for admission to the inner chambers."

"Look, I told you, no entry.  Come back tomorrow."

Jacqui stepped up, "Excuse me, sir, but we are desperate to find a friend.
Perhaps if you could just grant us access for a brief while, we could run
in, check, and run out."

The demon gave her a lascivious look that she had identified on more than a
few scumbags in her time as a woman.  "Not today, babe, but perhaps if
you're real nice to me, I could make it easy for you tomorrow."  The demon
reached out to take Jacqui's chin in hand, but as soon as he touched her
chin, he recoiled as though he had touched a live wire.  "OW!  Son of a-"
He stuck his hand in his mouth and sucked on it as though nursing a burn.
"You're one of the Goddess's bitches, aren't you?"

Jacqui pulled herself up as tall as she could and said, "Yes, and if you
don't want to get on her bad side, you'd better let us in."

The demon rolled his eyes.  "Spare me.  The Goddess's presence within you
may grant you protection from my touch, but it gets you no special
privileges here."

"Doesn't it?" the Dreamspeaker Master asked.  "Something's going on here,
that much is clear.  Those of the Sisterhood are known for protecting and
helping.  Perhaps we could help you out."

The demon looked at them suspiciously, but eventually he said, "Wait here."
He stepped into the door, literally melting into it.  After a few seconds,
the doors opened with an ominous, metal grating.  The demon awaited on the
other side.  "Enter."

The three entered the realm.  Norma, too terrified to speak, stayed close
behind Jacqui, hanging on her skirt.  Jacqui looked around.  She wasn't
sure what to expect, but it sure wasn't what she did see.  Starting at
either 50 yards to the left or the right of her, the realm did look as
expected.  There were scenes of people, usually naked, being punished by
demons of various shapes and sizes.  They were being whipped, burned,
stretched on racks, and many other forms of torture.  It was like something
out of a fire and brimstone minister's lecture.

But between sections of the expected was a barren stretch of land.  The
land had a blasted look, as though it had been the recipient of a huge bomb
blast.  The 100 yard stretch of land extended forward in front of her as
far as she could see.  She looked to the Dreamspeaker Master and saw that
he was just as surprised as she felt.

"What happened?" he asked.

"The Akashic Master attempted entry into Hell.  When he was refused, he
tore the guardian apart and ripped the gates of Hell from their moorings.
Then he did," the demon waved at the blasted strip of land, "this."

"Great Spirit, even I had no idea he was this powerful."

"No surprise.  Not only is he driven by his grief, but he is also an Oracle
of Forces."

"So what happened after this?"

"The Akashic Master assumed that we had taken his deceased wife as
vengeance for what he had done to us a few years ago.  We attempted to
force him out, but that didn't work.  Finally, we convinced him of the
special protection that those of the Sisterhood have from us.  It took a
bit of work to get him to believe us, but we finally got him to believe us,
and he left."

"Do you have any idea where he went?"

"Not exactly, but while he was fighting us, he said he'd raze the gates of
heaven itself to get his wife back."

"Thank you.  Now as to our helping you-"

Jacqui said, "I'm not sure I want to help these... 'people'."

The demon smiled.  "But you already have."

"What do you mean?"

The demon waved to the area behind Jacqui.  She turned and looked.  She saw
that wherever she had walked, the ground no longer had a blasted
appearance, and as she watched, she saw that the area where she had touched
was slowly spreading out, repairing the damage that Joe had done earlier.

The demon said, "It is the province of the Sisterhood to make right that
which is wrong.  In a spiritual realm like this, the effect is far faster
then in the consensual reality."

Jacqui suddenly felt used and dirty.  The Dreamspeaker Master said, "Come
on, let's go."

The three quickly left the realm, the Dreamspeaker Master using his Spirit
magics to take them right back into the Umbra as soon as they were through
the gate.  He took them a ways from Hell, and used his magics to create a
mini-realm that appeared as a clearing in the middle of a heavy woods.

"I had no idea you were this powerful."

"This?  This isn't that big a deal.  The fact is those trees don't really
exist.  Step out of this clearing and you're back in the Umbra."

"But it's a realm!"

"A realm with no stability.  It'll disappear as soon as we leave it."

Norma said, {Kind of like some chat rooms on the Internet.  It's there as
long as there are chatters in it, but if everybody leaves, it's gone.}

"I wouldn't know about that.  Computers are a mystery to me."

"You?  You know nothing about computers?"

"I'm afraid that's an old dog and new tricks issue with me, my dear.  Don't
forget, I'm older than the U.S. of A.  Your Master has tried to instruct me
a few times, but I'm afraid the mysteries of electronic media are beyond
me."

"Oh."  After a few seconds, Jacqui asked, "Forgive me, Master, but should
we be waiting here?  Doesn't every second count?"

"It does, but if the Akashic Master has gone to Heaven, I will need to
marshal my strength to get us there.  Speaking of which, what did you think
of Hell?"

{I hated it.  So many nasty thoughts.}

Jacqui smiled at Norma's comments and said, "It seemed kind of... What's
the word for it?"

"Christian?"

"That's the word."

The Dreamspeaker Master laughed.  "I know what you mean.  The first time I
was there was under the guidance of my Master.  I asked him if that really
was the fate of the souls of sinners from the consensual reality.  He
explained that realms in the Umbra are basically of two types.  Those that
are reflections of greater essences, like the realms of the Goddess and the
Dark One, and those that are created by belief, either the belief of
inhabitants of the consensual reality or by inhabitants, visiting or
permanent, of the Umbra, like this one, or like some realms that reflect
worlds created by authors of fiction.  There's actually a realm that is
like the world portrayed by Tolkein in his Lord of the Rings series."

"But which is Hell?"

The Dreamspeaker Master shrugged.  "Depends on who you talk to.  Talk to a
Christian and it's a reflection of the True Hell.  Talk to a non-believer
and it's nothing more than a realm created by the collected beliefs of all
Christians."

"But which do you believe?"

The Dreamspeaker Master shrugged again.  "I have seen too many things to
say one way or the other.  Supporting the 'True Reflection' theory is the
fact that a seeker of Hell always finds That realm.  Belief based realms
are always colored by the beliefs of seekers, and each is different
depending on the seeker.  But supporting the 'Belief' theory is the fact
that that Hell is shrinking, proponents saying that more and more believers
are changing their belief that sinners, instead of going to where they are
tortured by demons, go to private Hells where their punishments are
something appropriate to the nature of their crimes in life."

Jacqui considered what the Dreamspeaker Master had said, as well as what
she had experienced and asked, "Master, the demon called the Akashic Master
an Oracle of Forces.  I've heard rumors about Oracles, but what are they?"

The Dreamspeaker Master considered how best to describe it and said, "A
Master of any Sphere of Magic is one whose understanding is so great that
there is no physical world phenomenon that he cannot duplicate.  Some are
still incredibly hard, particularly in the presence of the non-Awakened,
but they can be done.  But there are some whose understanding is so great
that their abilities defy rational understanding, even to those of our
rank."

"How many Oracles do you know?"

"Three.  Four now including the Akashic Master."

"So few?"

"Oracles are rare because after they become Oracles they usually disappear.
One theory is that their understanding of a Sphere is so great that they
actually move beyond reality itself."

"Don't you mean the consensual reality?"

The Dreamspeaker Master shook his head.  "No realm in the Umbra, on either
side of the Horizon, has ever been found where Oracles reside."  The
Dreamspeaker Master sat down cross-legged and said, "Now I'm going to
meditate to marshal my strength.  I suggest you two rest and conserve your
strength.  There's no telling what we'll be facing when we get to where
we're going."

As the Dreamspeaker Master drifted into a trance, Jacqui saw Norma curl up
and fall asleep.  She seemed so contented at that moment, and Jacqui
wondered how she did it.  The resilience of youth she supposed.  At that
moment, Jacqui couldn't help but think of Cheryl,and she wondered how her
daughter and "Mara" were doing.  And when she fell asleep, it was to dreams
of being in Marcus's arms.

************

Bronwyn followed the woman to wherever she led.  She found herself entering
a realm which seemed very familiar to the realm of the Goddess, but somehow
she knew it wasn't the same.  She walked down a very similar hall to a very
similar chamber and saw a woman who seemed to be much the same as the
Goddess, just... simpler.  The thing was, despite the fact that it seemed
that this woman was pretending to be the Goddess, Bronwyn held no anger
towards her.

Bronwyn asked, "Where am I?  And who are you?"

"This is the realm of Love, and I am it's living embodiment."

"But why..."

"Do I look like the Goddess?  Because you equate love with the Goddess, and
thus this is how I manifest to you.  If you wish, I can be..."  Love
shimmered and looked like Joe, and, at the same time, the realm changed and
Bronwyn was standing in her bedroom at home.  In Joe's voice, Love said,
"your lover.  But I think for this conversation, I should be..."  Love
shimmered again and Bronwyn was standing in Laurie's kitchen and Love was
in the form of Laurie.  "your friend and confidante."

Bronwyn looked at her and said, "You look exactly like Laurie, but somehow
I know you're not her."

"Of course.  True Love is never deceptive."

"But why am I here?"

"To give you the inner strength necessary to return to Joe.  And to explain
why Joe needs you."

"I need Joe, too, but I'm not sure that's enough."

"It's not enough because you have known the love of so many in your life.
Laurie, your family, the Goddess, and all of the Sisterhood, even the
members you have not met.  Joe has known so few.   And none he has loved in
as unrestrained and as well reciprocated a manner."

"There's his family, his children and his mother.  There's also Laurie and
Jacqui, who both love him."

"And he loves them.  But he is father to his children and must make sure
that duty comes first.  And he is teacher to Jacqui, and must restrain
himself in much the same way.  And although he loves Laurie and she him, it
is not the unrestrained love he feels for you."

"What of Julie?"

The woman who brought her here said, "Her love is tainted by her betrayal.
With the exception of you, up to now, every person he has given his love to
has betrayed him."

"There is his first wife, Tarina."

The woman, anger evident in her voice, said, "His first wife, like you are
contemplating now, refused to face her pain and return to him when he
needed her."

Bronwyn was about to launch into this woman in defense of Joe's first wife,
but then she noticed it.  As a spirit, Bronwyn's empathy was much greater
than it had been in life.  She noticed that the woman's anger was not the
anger of hatred, but the anger of self-loathing.  She looked to the woman's
darkened face and asked, "Tarina?"

The woman remained silent and motionless for a while before reaching up and
removing her hood.  Bronwyn was astonished.  The resemblance between this
woman and the twins was uncanny.  This woman was perhaps a bit smaller than
the girls were going to grow up to be, and the girls were already a bit
more buxom, but her face and theirs were so similar it was scary.  "I
betrayed him," she said, "and I can never forgive myself."

"But he loves you so much, Tarina."

Love told her, "His love for her is not the problem.  It is her love for
him.  Julie has explained the phenomenon, Bronwyn.  She is so afraid of
hurting him again that she withholds herself.  Tarina does the same thing."

"I betrayed him by not fighting my way back to him.  I will never forgive
myself for that.  I would spare you that pain if I could."

Bronwyn looked at her.  Love said, "Joe needs you, Bronwyn.  Without you,
his despair may grow so great that he will never allow himself to love
again."

Bronwyn said, "Alright, I will try once more."

Love said, "Tarina will take you to where you will most likely succeed.  Go
with Love, Bronwyn."

After the girls left, Love attempted to contact Joe once more, but as
before, his grief was too great to allow him to hear her words.

************

Jacqui woke to the sounds of sobbing.  She looked around, but the
Dreamspeaker Master and Norma were nowhere to be seen.  She looked around
for the sounds of the crying, and saw a woman on the side of the clearing.
It only took her a few seconds to identify who it was.  "Mother, what's
wrong?"  Somehow it didn't seem weird that her mother was in this temporary
realm in the middle of the Umbra.

Laurie just kept crying.  Jacqui walked over and took her mother by the
shoulders.  "Mom, please talk to me."

Laurie said, "I am a failure as a mother."

"Why do you say that?"

"How else could I feel having raised a child so selfish?"

Jacqui was shocked.  "Wh... what do you mean?"

"I just wanted to show you the beauty of being female.  I just wanted to
give you the love of the Goddess.  But you rejected it outright without
even giving it a chance.  You had to be prodded and even tricked into every
step.  And even you had to admit it was beautiful.  Then after it was taken
from you and I couldn't give it back to you, all you could think to do was
lash out at me.

"Don't you think I suffered as you did?  Didn't you realize that your pain
was mine?"

Jacqui recoiled in shock.  What could she say?  Her mother was right, she
had been selfish and uncaring, fighting and hurting her mother every step
of the way.  She turned from Laurie, tears in her eyes.  And saw the
Dreamspeaker Master and Norma sitting there looking at her.

The Dreamspeaker Master asked, "Jacqui, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

Norma said, {She saw her mom.  And her mom said some nasty things to her.}

The Dreamspeaker Master nodded his understanding.  "And let me guess, you,
unfortunately, cannot disagree with what she said."

"How did you know?"

"You slipped into what's known as the Mirror Zone.  It's called that
because it reflects a portion of the soul back upon the person, usually a
portion they'd rather not face.  The Mirror Zone seems to wander the Umbra,
sucking travelers into it without cause or warning."

Jacqui nodded.  "She pointed out how selfish I'd been, refusing to even
give her gift a chance."

"And were you?"

"Yes.  I had to admit that I was happier as a girl, but when I was
transformed, I lashed out horribly."

The Dreamspeaker Master nodded.  "Well, I think it's time to go."

"Wait.  How do I deal with this?"

"Accept it."

"Is that the best advice you can give?  Accept it?"

"Jacqui, not even the greater Masters of Time can change the past.  It's
rumored that the Oracles of Time might have that power, but they're not
talking.  If you dwell on the past, you fail to face the present.  Accept
it, learn from your mistakes, and get on with your life."

Jacqui thought about it and nodded.

"Now come on.  We have an Akashic Master to save."

************

Bronwyn and Tarina hovered in the spirit world just outside her bedroom.
The physical world was plainly visible from here and Bronwyn could see her
body perfectly preserved.  She turned to Tarina.  "Thank you."

Tarina said, "I'm just doing as my heart dictates."

Bronwyn asked, "If I make it back, is there a message you'd like me to give
Joe?"

"Tell him...  Tell him I love him,and I'm sorry I didn't have the strength
to return his love for me."

Bronwyn felt the pain in her voice and hugged Tarina to her.  "Thank you,
Tarina.  For everything."

Bronwyn turned and attempted to penetrate the Gauntlet, the barrier that
prevented direct access from the consensual reality to the Umbra and vice
versa.  She felt the same pain she had felt upon dying, the pain inflicted
by that thing.  She tried to fight it, focusing on her love for Joe.  But
as much as she tried, the pain pushed back harder.  She cried out in
despair.  "Forgive me, Joe.  I cannot make it."

Then she felt Tarina's hands upon her, pushing her, helping her face her
pain.  But Bronwyn knew that Tarina was facing the pain she had felt when
she died, and neither one of them had been able to face that pain the first
time.  How would they be able to face it now?