From the Files Of...

 mf romance

From the files of...

This is a fantasy, actually more like a dream, that has escaped me for a
long time now. I used to think of this dream a lot when I layed in bed and
sleeplessly stared at my ceiling. I haven't thought about him lately,
actually since my sophomore year of college. However, having recently reread
my journal its been on my mind. Its about a guy named Pat. He was originally
in my english class and the following semester when this story evolved, he
was in my poli sci 55. The first day I ran into him I about died. I panicked
thinking he could see right through me.....

Its raining outside. Jenn went home for the weekend so I'm home alone during
the storm. I go to Cafe Sienna where I'm studying for poli sci and listening
to the nightly musical entertainment. I'm drinking a cafe latte with
chocolate sprinkles. I'm wearing my knit sweater and rain boots. Its a good
hair day. I'm going over my notes when in walks Pat. I don't notice of
course. He is over at the counter ordering, when he sees me sitting alone.
And he knows its me even from behind. He's sat in class looking at my hair
long enough to know. While Pat waits for his drink he evaluates whether or
not to come talk to me. After having a tiring Friday he decides not to get
his coffee to go. He could use some company. He says my name softly from
behind, half startling me. But its not so much being startled as knowing
exactly who it was making my stomach knot up. He says hi and asks me how
I've been. Normal small talk. I ask him if he's here alone. I'm suddenly
feeling a bit of courage. When he replies no I ask him to join me. (After
all I am studying for our poli sci class.) We discuss class and he's
uncertain about some stuff because he doesn't have his notes with him. So he
asks if we can study together sometime when he does have his notes. Was I
doing anything else tonight? Of course not its my fantasy and he invites me
over. I follow him home in my car. His roommate went home for the weekend so
all is perfect. Now here is the part where it varies depending on my mood.

Its still storming outside. We talk and really hit it off. We drink a bottle
of wine (this is the catalyst). I'm feeling warm. The phone rings and he
takes it in the bedroom. I'm sitting on the couch waiting for him to come
back. I close my eyes for a few seconds and doze off. He comes back in and
smiles knowing what a long day I have had. He gently sits next to me so as
not to disturb me. I stir when I feel his hand on my face stroking my hair.
Half awake I smile tenderly at him. Then realizing how dopey I must look I
jump up. I cant believe I fell asleep. I'm sorry I say. I guess I just
didn't realize how tired I was before I drank the wine. He laughs and says
its nothing to feel bad about but I'm embarrassed as hell. I feel like I
need to rush out. He cuts me short and says its raining so hard I should at
least wait until it lets up. I'll be fine I say. But June you hate storms
just stay here its no big deal. You're probably too tired to drive anyway. I
argue but its no good. Pat has used his power to persuade me and it wasn't
that difficult might I add. We sit together on the couch and continue talk.
Its only 10 o'clock. We discuss many important things and really hit it off.
Were sitting close on the couch. I tell him I'm really sleepy. Fill in the
blanks here...at this point I don't need details. He tells me to rest my
head on his lap. I'm lieing there feeling him warm and close. I close my
eyes. His smell. His warm voice. His gentle touch on my hair. I'm home.

Come on he says getting up. Hhmmm? He extends his hands to pull me up off
the couch. I look at him inquisitively. He says I'm going to put you to bed,
its been a bad day for both of us. I go into his room. He grabs a pair of
flannel boxers and a t shirt out of his drawer. He leaves the room so I can
change. When he returns, he sees me standing in his clothes and he smiles
warmly. He pulls back the covers and I lay down. I jokingly ask if he will
tell me a story too. He sits on the edge of the bed. I look at him, into
those eyes. He kisses me on the forehead and pulls back. I lift my head up
and kiss him. Feeling my heart pound out of my chest. Thinking of all the
times I've thought about doing this very thing. I lay my head back down and
say something stupid out of nervousness. He leans down and kisses my cheek,
then my chin, finally my mouth. Magic. I hold his head. Running my fingers
through his short scruffy hair, I close my heavy eyes but I know now I will
never go to sleep. He crawls into bed after shutting out the light. He pulls
me near. Soft. Near to me. Warm. We kiss. I slide my hand up the back of his
shirt feeling his bare back. His soft skin. He kisses me as we lay on our
sides facing one another. He runs his fingers down my back. I stroke his
hair. I gather his shirt up on the sides and begin to take it off. He helps
me. He traces his fingers along the side of my body just brushing my
breasts. Too sexy to be a tickle. He takes off my shirt and I feel like I
cant breathe. I've wanted his touch for so long. Turning me over on my back
he kisses down my chest and I know I cant breathe. I kiss his back and so
on. Its storming outside. It would typically scare me but it doesn't. The
rain pounds the ground. I put my face into his chest and he holds me close.
He caresses my hair and I feel safe. He traces my back. His smell and warmth
fill me up. I am home.