IOU (MF, rom, slow) {5/6] IOU Chapter 5 Ellie was feeling very pleased with herself as she ate breakfast. She had more than fulfilled her part of the IOU and had enjoyed herself in the bargain. She just hoped Carl was feeling equally satisfied. Hoping for some appreciative comments, she could not help asking, "Was last night what you were hoping for?" To her surprise he seemed hesitant about answering her. In seconds her pleasure turned to insecurity. "Didn't you have a good time? Is there something else you fantasised about doing? You can tell me. We could do whatever it is now, if you want." "Calm down, Ellie," Carl told her reassuringly, "you were wonderful last night. I can't think of a better way for anyone to lose his virginity." "But... Come on Carl, I could hear the 'but' in your voice." "Look... This is a bit embarrassing for me..." "You used to tell me all your embarrassing secrets when you were younger. What can't you tell me now?" "This involves you though. I don't want you to feel you have to live up to my stupid expectations." "Carl, at the moment you are making me feel very insecure. I would much rather you told me what you wanted to happen last night instead of me torturing myself trying to guess how I let you down." "You see, Ellie?" Carl groaned. "You're already blaming yourself." "So why don't you just tell me?" Ellie retorted in exasperation. "You have to understand that I've been dreaming and planning for nearly four years about the day I could ask you to pay that IOU. I learnt to cook all your favourite things. I sneaked a look at Beth's magazines whenever I got a chance to try to find out what women want from a lover. I even joined a gym so you wouldn't be disappointed with my body. I wanted everything to be perfect so that just maybe you would forget how old I was and just see me as a person, not Beth's little brother. Then maybe, just maybe you would fall in love with me. I know it was stupid. I didn't just want to have great sex, I could probably have got that anywhere. I wanted to hold you and make love to you and wake up next to you. And even if you never speak to me again, at least for one night I loved you and held you close." Ellie gazed at him in stupefaction, unsure just what to say in reply. Taking courage from her silence, Carl continued. "You asked what I fantasised about. I don't have normal fantasies about rolling around naked with you. Actually that's not true, I do. But my favourite and most frequent fantasy is nothing like that. It's ten years time and I'm coming home from work. I walk in and you're in the sitting room with the kids. I give you a kiss change the baby's nappy while you tell me about your day and I tell you about mine. We go into the kitchen and make dinner together while the kids do their homework. Then after tea you finish writing an article while I bathe the kids and put them to bed. Then we sit on the sofa and watch TV, just the two of us. Then we go to bed and we make love before we fall asleep with our arms around each other. That's what I fantasise about." "I don't know what to say, Carl," Ellie stammered, feeling overwhelmed. "You don't have to say anything. I know you don't feel the same way about me as I do about you." "How long have you felt like this? I know you had a bit of a crush on me a few years ago but I wasn't aware of anything as intense as this," Ellie observed gently. "For as long as I can remember I've loved you," Carl said simply. "I tried not to be too obvious because I didn't want people laughing at me and I knew I was too young for you to take me seriously." "But why me?" Ellie asked in bewilderment. "Because you're a very special person, Ellie. You hide behind your blonde bombshell image but I remember the girl who used to kiss me better when I hurt myself and sing me to sleep at night. My parents are great but I was just one of four boys and I sometimes got lost in the crowd. But you always saw us as individuals and you made me feel special. Then as I got older I began to understand you more and more. The way your parents brought you up has made you so appreciative of any affection anyone gave you and I wanted to give you all my love. Then you became so beautiful and I thought I would never get a chance. But so far you always seem to pick boyfriends who treat you just as badly as your parents. So I thought I'd give it a try. You need me, Ellie. You don't have to bend over backwards trying to make me like you. I love you just the way you are." Ellie couldn't think of anything to say. On one hand Carl was saying the kind of things she had dreamed of a man saying to her. But on the other hand he was Beth's little brother. Her mind was a whirl of conflicting thoughts and she had no idea how to even begin respond to Carl's declaration. "There's nothing wrong with the way my parents brought me up, thank you very much," Ellie declared at last, taking refuge in indignation. "Nor, if it comes to it, has there ever been anything wrong with my boyfriends." "Of course Ellie. All parents virtually ignore their child's existence. The only thing they ever show any pride in about you is your beauty. They don't know enough about you to appreciate anything else. You try desperately to make up for being born as if it was your fault. You've never stood up to your parents once in your whole life. Instead you go along with every demand they make. And you behave exactly the same with every boyfriend you've had. You deserve so much more and I know if I ever had the chance to be your boyfriend I'd never treat you like that." Ellie glared at him, trying to think of some way to refute his statements. To her confusion he suddenly gave a short laugh. "It's okay, Ellie," he said. "I don't expect you to fall on my neck and declare undying love. It's just this was probably my one and only chance and I would never have forgiven myself if I hadn't told you how I felt. Just forget what I said and lets talk about something else. How did you interview go?" "My interview?" Ellie asked dazedly. "Your job interview at the local TV place." "Oh, that... It was good. They offered me a job." "That's fantastic. So are you going to be a researcher or something." "No, They offered me an on-camera job presenting the weather report." "The weather report," Carl echoed. "But you know nothing about meteorology. I thought you wanted to be a journalist." "Well, they didn't think I had what they were looking for to be a serious news reporter. This could be a great opportunity," Ellie pointed out defensively. "My father was very impressed. After all... look at people like Ulrika Johnston. She started off as a weather girl and look how far she's gone." "It's not what you want to do, though. You don't want to spend the rest of your life playing a dumb blonde." "I am a dumb blonde, so I don't have much choice, do I?" Ellie retorted. "Don't be silly, of course you're not. You just hide behind that image because it's one a lot of people find easy to accept. You're not naturally blonde and you're not naturally dumb, either. You should stop trying to be what other people want you to be and just be yourself for a change." "Oh, sure! After all, it's that easy," Ellie said sarcastically. "I'll just stop streaking my hair and suddenly people will be falling over themselves offering me jobs and my parents will realise I'm exactly the daughter they always wanted." "You know I don't mean that. But I bet you went to that interview in high heels and a short skirt." Ellie glared at him and didn't answer his challenge, as he was correct. "You say you want to be a journalist but you haven't tried to do anything about it." "Like what, Einstein?" "I don't know. You could try writing an article and taking it around the local papers. At least then you would be judged on your ability, not your appearance." "Okay, what should I write about." "You're the journalist, not me. Write about something that really annoys you. That way you'll get some passion into it." "This has been a very strange breakfast," Ellie observed. "You've gone from declaring undying love to criticising my appearance to giving me career advice. Somehow I wasn't expecting anything like this when I arrived last night." "I'm sorry," Carl said contritely. "I care about you so much and I just want to help you in any way I can." "Well I'm going to go home and think about what you said. I guess I'll see you around. Thanks for breakfast." "No. Thank you, Ellie, for not being furious with me." "Who says I'm not? I might just hide it well," Ellie suggested lightly. "You forget... I know you." "I think I'll be going before you start all that again. Bye." Ellie had a lot to ponder over as she drove home. Eventually she decided to try to forget Carl's declaration of love. At the same time it gave her a warm feeling to know that he cared about her so much and it somehow gave her confidence as well. She decided to take his suggestion about writing an article and act on it. After all she had nothing to lose. It would also help to distract her mind from thinking about Carl. All she had to do was to find some local topic of interest that was unlikely to be already covered. Accordingly she was unusually observant as she drove down the high street. It was looking very smart after all the money spent on it by the Middleton Restoration Committee. It was marred, however, by the litter being blown about by the wind. Ellie had heard several complaints about the litter problem recently so she decided she had found the subject for her article. It wasn't the most glamorous subject ever but then local papers rarely dealt with glamorous subjects. She thought it would be sensible to start with something modest. She changed out of her black dress into jeans and T-shirt and decided to get started. She found a small Dictaphone and a notepad and pen. She spent the morning prowling the high street getting comments from shoppers and shopkeepers. She seemed to have struck a nerve, as most people were very indignant about the amount of litter. She made a rough draft of her article and was feeling very pleased with herself by the end of the day. She had only thought about Carl half a dozen times and she hadn't thought about her old boyfriend Tim once. If nothing else had been achieved Carl had certainly helped her to get over Tim. She was in the kitchen making herself a cup of camomile tea before going to bed when her father entered. "Whatever are you doing here, Elizabeth?" he asked in surprise. "Aren't you normally out partying on a Saturday night?" "I'm having a night in for a change." Ellie explained meekly. For a moment she was tempted to tell him what she had been doing all day but somehow she knew he would not be very impressed. Still, she could sound him out on the topic. "I was on the high street today and someone was complaining about the litter problem. I was wondering if the council had any plans to do anything about it." "There's always someone complaining about something. The council doesn't have time to deal with every petty complaint, you know," he told her severely. "Why only last year the M.R.C. spent a small fortune putting litter bins all along the high street. What's more they're emptied every day, which is more than most towns do. But still people whine. No gratitude nowadays." Ellie listened to him in puzzlement. There were definitely no litter bins on the high street. However she also knew that her father had an excellent memory and rarely made a mistake. "Exactly when were the bins put in?" she asked casually. "Oh it was last spring, beginning of April, I think. If you're so interested you can look it up in the minutes of the meetings." "Do you have them here?" Ellie asked eagerly. Her father gazed at her in surprise. "Well yes. Do you really want to have a look? You've never shown much interest in the M.R.C. before." "I was just curious. There's nothing on TV so I thought it might be interesting." Ellie said innocently. "Well it's up to you. I'll show you where they are. Don't get them out of order, will you, Elizabeth. They are important papers, not playthings." "I'll be careful, I promise." It took Ellie a while to find the relevant meeting but she persevered. Her father's memory had been correct as usual. She carefully photocopied the pages, then she looked up the firm which had been awarded the contract in the phone book. She was pleased to see that they were advertised as being open on a Sunday. Feeling excited she retired to bed to plot her strategy.