Moments (MF Rom) It was the shoe that first caught my attention. I was sitting in the waiting room of the railway station, reading a book. Something kept flicking in and out of the periphery of my vision. I could stand it no longer. I turned to look at the shoe bobbing up and down. It was casually hanging off the stockinged foot of a woman seated three chairs away from me. My eyes surreptitiously roved up the black stocking to her calf where I lingered a moment then continued on up to the thigh, where my view of the crossed leg was abruptly terminated by the hem of a dark pinstriped skirt. Moving on up her body I eventually came to rest on the woman's face, only to be disconcerted by the smile of recognition at my not so surreptitious staring. I looked away flustered and embarrassed. But it was the smile that did it. We walked out of the theatre hand in hand. I was feeling, well, high I guess. The performances had all been fine, even the play was pretty good. But my date, now she was something special. We'd laughed at all the same moments and had held hands without embarrassment or prompting. She even listened kindly to my half-baked critique at the end. She was special all right. I was the nervous one. My parents were meeting Emily for the first time, but it was me that was flapping about, worrying needlessly over the meal we were cooking together. She was serene and supportive, assured and confident. As I stood there in the kitchen, flour down my front and a silly nervous smile on my face, I looked at her and I knew. I also knew that she'd bowl my parents over. She did, of course. --* -- The drive to the coast was a warm, dreamy experience, like nothing I'd ever experienced before. The ring on my finger still felt foreign to me. I set the cruise control and put my arm around my wife as best I could. My wife. It still seemed like I was in someone else's dream. The honeymoon suite in the small hotel was cosy, warm, inviting and just right. I sat on the edge of the bed and watched her step seductively into the room, framed in the doorway of the bathroom. The soft light shone through her translucent night-gown illuminating her feminine curves. I almost choked with mixture of lust and joy. That first time she showed not the slightest nervousness or hesitation. My feelings of fulfilment and pleasure had never been so complete. I knew at that moment I would do anything for this woman, absolutely anything. Whatever it took. We waited expectantly by her bed all night long. In the early hours we were rewarded by the sight of the first puppy. I carefully lifted up the little scrap of life and placed it next to it's mother's stomach. Lady licked it vigorously till it mewled then she picked it up by the scruff and dropped it next to a waiting nipple. I sat transfixed by this display of nature at it's most maternal. I looked up at Emily and smiled a dopey smile of a happy father by proxy. A moment of insight passed between us and she nodded an affirmative to my unspoken question. It was settled, we were to be a family. I got the call at work. I think it would have hurt less if the car had hit me instead of Emily. I don't remember much about the drive to the hospital, all I know is that somehow I managed not to make the situation any worse than it already was. I listened to the doctor tell me about all the things that were broken and damaged, about how Emily had, of course, lost the baby. How she was comfortable but very poorly. How I should not stay too long as she wouldn't be able to hear me anyway. I held my broken princess' hand for hours, despairing at the cruelties of fate. Eventually a nurse told me I should come back in the morning. I stayed. The lift gently lowered her to the floor and she unsnapped the locks holding the wheelchair to the floor plate. We had decided to take her car on the picnic instead of mine. I still marvelled at how full of life she was. Emily was not about to let anything minor like the paralysis of half her body stand in her way. She let me push her along the sloping path to the picnic area, even though I knew she could easily propel herself. It was typical of her that she chose a manual chair over an electric one. "No sense in the rest of my body wasting away" she had said. It was a lovely picnic. I was never really sure how much feeling she still retained below her waist, but she swore she did. Penetrative sex seemed largely pointless, though she often urged me do it anyway, for my sake. But by then I had fallen in love with oral sex. I couldn't imagine enjoying anything so much as being gloriously intimate with her in that way. Oh yes. Emily was so happy. I could see her face glowing with pleasure and parental pride. Our daughter, Marie, stood in line on the stage to receive her degree. I thought back to the pain and anguish that been caused by adopting an older child, but at that moment none of it seemed to matter. No one else had wanted her. She had been placed with many families, but for one reason or another had always ended back with the authorities. She had certainly been a trial. Through it all Emily had remained optimistic and confident that Maria would fit into the family and be at peace with herself. I have to admit that there were times when I failed to share in her optimism. Emily was right, of course. She always was. Maria bought her new baby home to show us. Maria's husband, Stephen, was anxious about Emily holding little Alice but Maria shoo'd him away. The same sense of calm and confidence had now settled on Maria. Emily had worked her magic in some mystical way that I would never understand, but would always appreciate more than I could say. Being a grandparent was a thrill that I'd never thought possible. Looking at little Alice in Emily's arms made me think of what might have been, but the thought was fleeting. I knew I couldn't complain, I had been more than privileged with what I'd had in my life. Simply being with Emily was enough. More than enough. I looked up startled, feeling uncomfortable. I had been lost in thoughts and memories, looking back over a lifetime's moments again. Fragments that mirrored several decades of joy and sorrow. The coffin slid through the door as the organ music started its sombre tones. I looked around at my fellow mourners. Funerals were never the happiest places. I reached over and clasped Emily's hand. Her skin was delicate and almost translucent now. Her hand felt so small in mine. "I guess it will soon be our turn, my love." "Speak for yourself," she said, and gave me one of those smiles that first attracted me. The thought occurred to me, not for the first time, that I had been one of life's lottery winners. Quite why I had been so privileged to have shared my life with this woman was still a mystery to me, but I knew it was the best thing that could ever have possibly happened. Life is, was and always would be, wonderful with Emily.