Archive-name: Slaves/corwin.txt Archive-author: Cecilia Tan Archive-title: Corwin Sometimes, looking around my bed chamber before I sleep at night, I am awed by what I have. Could I really have achieved, garnered, realized all of these desires? Around me the largeness of the house seems to grow, twenty or more empty rooms between mine and the nearest servant, filled up with the silence I have hoarded. It seemed like hardly any work at all. But thinking deeper, before dreams begin to creep up under my eyes, I realize that while it may not have seemed to be such a conscious effort, subconscious desire is always at work. What was it that made me invite Glinda to that party? She and I had never liked one another particularly. We got along well, based on our mutual respect for one another's talents, and certain shared tastes. But we differed in a few opinions and were never friends. Still, I never wanted to do anything to hurt her. Let me stop kidding myself and you. I invited her because I secretly hoped she would bring Corwin. The party itself was unremarkable as these things go--the usual beatings and humiliations, and a good deal of wine was spilled (much less than was consumed). As host I mostly watched that night, detached from my guests by my stature. But by the time the fire grew low, we were five women in the drawing room, myself, three others, and Glin, with Corwin. Their act had gone uninterrupted since they first arrived, late, at the front gate. They had made a grand entrance into the main hall, her driver announcing "The Lady Glinda Trisel, Duchess of Alaming." She swept forward into the room, trailing a gold and black dress and crinoline almost as stunning as her flaming red hair. She fanned herself gently and raised her voice. "And may I present my consort, Corwin, Prince of the Panatans." She turned back toward him. The driver shoved him forward into the room. He stumbled and nearly fell to his knees, chains clanking, but recovered, eyes smoldering. He was a gorgeous sight to behold in a blue velvet tunic, the square collar exposing the gentle curve of his collarbone, his long brown hair bound behind him in a matching ribbon, and topped by a silver circlet. His hands were bound in front of him with bright silver chain. She beckoned and he followed her further into the room, his head held proudly. It was easy to forget she was a designer and he a programmer--I saw a noble lady and a prince. They greeted me, their hostess, first. Glin and I ex- changed some niceties, and I complimented her on the scenario. We had many people come in costume, enacting everything from movie characters to wild fancies of their own. But I have a soft spot for that medieval fantasy period. And Corwin, the roundness of his face, the fullness of his lips--I would have thought him beautiful even if he had been a woman. I could not take my eyes off of him. Neither could many others. So even at that late hour, when Glin slapped him in the face (I missed what he had said to deserve it), they had an audience. As she forced him to kneel and pushed his head to the ground, unbuttoning the tunic in the back, Marella turned to me and whispered, "Do you think she'll let us each have a turn?" "Goodness, I hope so," piped in Dara, licking her lips. I simply nodded, unable to take my eyes off them. She stripped away the tunic and fastened his hands behind his back, standing him up by his long hair. Now he wore only in tight black leggings, his perfect chest exposed. "Cleo? Where shall we put him?" I resisted the urge to touch him. "The drawing room archway." I led them to the gilt doorway, met Corwin's eyes as we chained him into it. I looked away. Hooks the perfect height for him. They had originally been placed for a woman my size, which is small, and Corwin was just about my height. Glin put a collar around his neck, clipping the long ends of the chains to it. He made a delicious picture like that, the fire backlighting his spreadeagled figure, the chains shining in the flames. She put a pretty black clip onto each nipple and stepped back. I could have sat and admired him for a few more minutes, but she wasted no time, going to work on him right away. She started with a cat-o-nine-tails, passing it deftly from hand to hand as she worked up a rhythm. She fairly danced around him as she heated up his skin. The cat was too light to leave marks, his skin began to glow in the firelight. She switched to a leather paddle, and we began to hear him. His voice was as sweet and beautiful as his face. In his pride he tried to choke off the cries, but when she began using a stiff leather thong he coughed out a note with each stroke. The thong bit into his skin, raising a blue welt where it fell. I realized as I was watching his fists clench in the cuffs, I was clenching my own. She did not stop. He thrashed in the chains, his hair coming loose from the ribbon and hanging down over his chest. "Milady," he gasped out between blows. She did not answer him. "Milady please stop. Ah!" His eyes were shut tight and he sucked his breath through his teeth as he tried to keep speak- ing. "Milady, please!" "He means nothing to me," she said to the rest of us, the motion of her arm continuing. "He is but a spoil of war, like a good horse. A fine possession which I will use, or misuse, as is my privilege." His chest heaved with pain, and also I could see, anger. I suddenly wondered what their safeword was. He opened his eyes again and I looked away. Was she drawing blood? "Come on Glin," I said. "Let us see the rest of your prize." She stepped back, smiling. He hung limp for a moment, resting, while she stripped the leggings down to his ankles. There was an appreciative sigh from us, the rest of him was as perfectly formed as the upper half, his strong legs lightly dusted with hair, and the family jewels hanging delectably be- tween them. In the light I caught the glint of metal. He wore a ring around them that matched the circlet in his hair. His legs quivered as she stepped him out of the leggings and then reat- tached his ankle to the door frame. "May I?" Marella stepped forward, dangling her cat from her hand. Glinda bowed graciously and stepped back. "Please. Make him sing." Marella was even more graceful than Glinda, with more variation to her rhythm. My palms were sweating. I felt my teeth clench as each blow fell. He did not open his eyes now, trying to melt into the pain. Glinda tweaked the nipple clamps with her fingers and he screamed. Marella gave him no breath to go limp. My heart jumped as she gave him a final extra-hard whack. I wanted to leave the room, but at the same time, I couldn't bear to leave his presence. Dara got up next and went to work on him with clothespins. Each of the women had a turn with him, Glinda making suggestions as they went along, as though they were setting a table or making a flower arrangement. They blindfolded him. They chatted among themselves as they marked him. Glinda flicked the nipple clamps off and he screamed. But she had turned away from him, to look at me. "Would you like a turn, as well?" she was saying, but I barely heard it over Corwin's song of agony. My goosebumps sprang up and I could barely maintain the act to nod my head. "Take him down, onto his knees." They released the collar first, then his hands and he slumped forward into me. He tried to regain his feet, but I lowered him gently to the carpet. I could feel his back with my hand, hot, corrugated. I held his head back with my hand wound in his hair and whispered into his ear. "You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen." I pinched a very sore nipple and he shook in my arms. "You are truly, truly a beauty. Do you know why I do this?" I slapped him in the thigh and he gasped. "No." "Pain is a gift from me to you," I continued, working on the nipples more. "In exchange for your beauty. At this moment, you are the most precious thing to me on Earth." I held him to my chest then, as he broke down sobbing. "You are a prince," I whispered. I looked up then and met Glinda's eyes. She glared, a hint of disbelief on her face. I don't think she heard anything I said. She broke character for a moment. "Well, Cle', do you think he's had enough?" I shrugged. "Ask him." She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. I spoke into his ear, "Corwin, Corwin are you alright?" He would not look up from where his face was buried in my chest. I shrugged at her. She walked over, knelt down, her hair sliding down her shoulder to touch his. "Come on, Corwin, let's go." He clung to me. She said again, "Let's go." This time she used her bare hand on his back. He wasn't the only one who gasped. "That is an order, princeling," she added, as if that could reestablish the scene's rules. But it was she who had broken them. He covered his ears and she raised her hand again. "Wait," I said, grabbing her wrist. As our eyes met I could not tell what she was thinking. I did not want to play this wrong. "Duchess, how much do you want for him?" She raised her eyebrow in surprise. "Oh, he's not for sale." "I thought you said he meant nothing to you." Corwin sobbed silently in my lap, his voice spent. Perhaps it was true. "You are right." She stood up and tapped him with her boot. "I suppose I could set a price." "Name it." I swallowed, unable to tell where this scene was going next. "Twenty five lashes, hard enough that we might hear them in the next room." she said, her voice cold. She held a whip out to me, daring me. "On him. You deliver them." I looked into his eyes. He nodded. I began lifting him up. "Give me the whip." They put him back up in the frame and Marella went into the other room to keep count. "I do this," I said, drawing my arm back, "because I love you." My first stroke wasn't hard enough for Marella to hear, but it was hard enough to make Corwin scream. I pressed the whip handle to my forehead, praying. I said "I love you," and let the second one fall. Marella shouted "One!" from the other room. On the next blow I drew blood. Corwin was whimpering. I let another blow fall. Tears sprang to my eyes as he bit down on a cry. Sweat broke out on his skin as I struck him. We were both crying. My arm began to hurt. By the time I got to twenty I didn't know if I could give him the last five. I was panting, the whip hanging limp as I had to look away from his tortured skin. You have to do this, I told myself, or she'll finish it for you. But I could not steel myself to raise my arm again. "Cleo!" he said, his head hanging. "Finish me!" By the time the last one was delivered, Glinda had al- ready gone. I let the whip fall and sank to my knees, unsure when exactly the line had been crossed between play and reality, waiting for the scene to end. But there was Corwin in my arms, kissing me. Now I lay here at night, before I fall asleep, admiring his hair falling over the pillow. Some nights, like tonight, I'm happy to watch the moon shining on his skin, but other nights, I'll wake him gently and make him talk to me. My prince. Copyright 1991 by Cecilia Tan All right reserved.