Copyright © 1997 Master Wade. ALL Rights Reserved. This story may not be reproduced in any form for profit without the written permission of the author. This story may be freely distributed with this notice attached. The author may be contacted through mrdouble@ix.netcom.com. MRWADE.238 By Master Wade Carmen Chapter Two Carmen had been sincere in submitting to Dan that evening in his home, but her success in making it real was anything but consistent. For his part, Dan was patient, and yet was concerned by the roller-coaster nature of Carmen's submission. One day she would be incredibly submissive and show every evidence of genuine submission to him. The next day she would be totally disobedient and disrespectful, behaving as if his rules for her didn't even exist. Dan was no stranger to the struggles of a submissive, and he made every effort to guide Carmen and to encourage her. When her disobedience was flagrant, and he knew that other forms of discipline and correction would do no good, Dan punished Carmen...or at least tried to. Often were the times when she would pull away from him and run into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Dan would wait for her to come out, and when she finally did, he would punish her, but even his punishment made no difference in her attitude or could bring her out of these moods she got in. "Carmen, submission is not something that a Master forces from you," he said to her one night. "It has to be something you want and need. If it isn't, then I'm just spinning my wheels. I can't be a Master to someone who won't surrender to me." "Yeah, right," she said, stubbornly, "and it's all my fault. You don't have any responsibility to make me FEEL submissive, do you? You want me to be a nice little girl who always does what you say, don't you? Well, it's not going to be that easy with me." "I give you rules which should make you feel submissive, if you'd follow them. And when you don't, I discipline you, which should make you feel submissive. And when you don't respond to my discipline, I punish you, which should make you feel submissive. I KNOW that you need to feel submissive, Carmen. I KNOW that you want to feel yourself yield to me, to feel me drawing you to your knees in front of me. But you're trying to be a third baseman without playing baseball. You want to FEEL things that you can't feel unless you allow yourself to do the things that bring those feelings to you." "I can't submit unless I feel submissive. I'm sorry, that's just the way it is." "Then begin by being committed to your own submissive nature. Are you a submissive? Then be one. Be one enough to embrace the relationship you're in. Be one enough to accept the rules your Master gives you. Be one enough to obey at least enough that you DO feel submissive. Then you can submit the rest of the way." "But you don't dominate me. You just gripe and complain. Maybe if you would BE dominant, you'd see submission from me." "Giving you rules and standing firmly by them and expecting you to obey them isn't being dominant? Caring whether you obey them or not isn't being dominant? Being committed enough to you and your submission to continue to demand that you submit to me even when you reject every effort that I make to discipline and punish you isn't being dominant?" "Care? I'm supposed to believe you care whether I submit or not? Your rules say that I am supposed to bring you my journal at the end of every week, and that it is supposed to show that I have made daily journal entries. When is the last time you ask for the journal? How am I supposed to believe that you really care whether I do that or not if you don't ask to see it?" "That is one of your rules, yes. And there are many others. One is that you are to call me Master when you speak to me. When have you done that? Have you called me Master today? Did you call me Master yesterday?" "No, I didn't call you Master yesterday, and you failed miserably at trying to punish me for it too, didn't you?" "You make it sound like you're proud of that. As if the only reason you're in this relationship at all is to challenge me and hope that I will fail in trying to dominate you." "You're not serious about being a Master. I need someone who is." "If I'm not serious about being a Master, Carmen, then what am I serious about? There are basic things that I MUST do if I am going to be "A Master". I can't choose to do them some of the time and not do them other times, simply because I may not feel dominant that day. Ask yourself...do I do them? Do you see some consistency in me? Do I claim to be a Master one day and appear to have no interest in it the next? And how do you fare in that same kind of evaluation? Are you serious about being a submissive? Do you do the basic things that you MUST do if you're going to be "A submissive"? Do you do them every day, whether you feel submissive or not? Is there any consistency in you?" "I'm very tired. I think I will go home and get some rest. I can't get anywhere with you." With great sadness, Dan walked Carmen to her car. Something was missing. Something was wrong. Carmen was holding back something from him, and he had no way of knowing what it was. Over the next few weeks, Carmen and Dan continued to struggle. He seriously evaluated himself and his efforts, and even questioned his own dominant nature. Maybe she was right...maybe he wasn't being dominant with her. Maybe he did whine rather than control. Maybe he was too weak with her. Maybe they were just wrong for each other. But he still felt there was something he didn't know about that was coming between them. Dan and Carmen began drifting apart emotionally. It was a painful thing for Dan to see happening. He had come to love Carmen with all his heart, and he wanted her in his life. He still believed in her submissive nature, and he loved all the other parts of her as well. She was incredibly exciting to him sexually, and as they had shared the stories Carmen had been sent in the mail, he discovered that they both responded to the same sexual fantasies, in spite of the fact that many of them were what might be considered on the fringe of normalcy. But now she was distant, and he felt helpless and very much alone. Complicating the entire relationship was the matter of trust. Carmen, who still claimed to love Dan and to want things to work between them, seemed to become less and less trustworthy and dependable. She would say she would call him, and not call. She would say she would be home, but would not be home until hours after she had promised to be there. She said she would come to see him, and did not, or was hours late getting there. Dan had never faced anything quite like it before. Certainly he had seen it from women who were not really submissive in the first place. And, yes, he had seen it from women who were just players and only in it for the sex. And yes, he had seen it from women who didn't love him, and who were just trying out dominant men until they found one that "fit". Was Carmen one of these women? Was her whole approach to him and her whole intent with him one big lie? Dan couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. During their entire relationship, Dan had been to Carmen's home only once. He felt that it was her place to come to him, and there was also the matter of her son, and Dan's wish to avoid involving him until they were at a more comfortable place with each other. He'd seen children fall in love with him before when he had been dating their Mothers, and it was painful to see that and know that there would be no permanency in that relationship. Nor was it Dan's style to show up un-invited at anyone's home, and Carmen had always preferred to visit him, rather than having him come to her. That was fine with Dan, and even during the days of confusion, when he would get her answering machine over and over again, even though she claimed to be at home, Dan never considered making the half- hour drive to her home to talk with her. At least not until July 4th. Dan had made plans for he and Carmen to attend a music festival being held at a park in a neighboring city. Carmen had expressed an interest in it as well, and they had looked forward to it for weeks. Even as late as the night before the festival, Carmen had sounded excited about it and had promised to be at his house the next morning at 9:00 ready to go. On the morning of July 4th, nine o'clock came and Carmen was not there. Dan called her at 9:30, and there was no answer. He called her at 10:00 and there was no answer. After calling at 10:30 and still not getting an answer, he became concerned, and drove over to her house. Approaching the door, Dan heard angry voices inside the house. One of them was Carmen's, and the other voice that of a man. He began to ring the doorbell, but stopped. He could hear what they were saying to each other. "It was a mistake to let you come back," Carmen was saying. "I knew better, but I wanted what was best for Gerald. But you're just like you were before. Nothing has changed. This isn't going to work." "How can it work? How can it work if you won't be my wife? Do you think I came back just for Gerald? Do you think that my love for you is such that I can just put it on hold and never want to hold you, or kiss you? EVERY night you reject me. Every day there are phone calls that you have no explanation for. Every weekend you go somewhere and don't want to hear any questions from me when you get home." "Get away from the door. I told you that I promised Maria I would be there at 9:00. I'm two hours late! Let me out of here!" Dan had heard enough. He walked back to his car and drove back home, his cheeks wet with tears. Continued in Chapter three.... -- Double for Nothing!! Tricks for Free!!! http://pw1.netcom.com/~mrdouble/main/stories.html Be There.....