Life's Funny.
Ch.1

  I was stretched out in an overstuffed chair watching a mass of long
chestnut hair bob up and down on my cock. On her upstroke I could catch
a glimpse of her pretty face and cute tits. On her downstroke I could
see her cute little ass sticking out. I knew giving head was not her
favorite thing to do, but she was always willing with me. I reached
down and pulled her head up and she let my fat cock out of her mouth
with a little "plop" sound and a pouty look.
"Did I do something wrong baby?"
"Of course not baby," I replied, "I'm just gonna give you more
to taste."
I slid down further until my ass was hanging off the chair and then I
raised my legs and hooked them over the chair arms. Now my fat 8 inch
cock hung out in mid-air. It had a little upward curve and throbbed
gently in time with my heart. Of course the smoothly shaved family
jewels were easily accesible now, along with my asshole. She looked
down at the presentation, still soaked with her saliva, and looked back
up at me with those dark smoldering eyes I loved and ran her tongue
around her lips and leaned back in. Just chestnut hair in view again.
And my ex-wife Jeannie's head under it.

  She may say she doesn't like giving head but you couldn't tell
from her performance today! She went right to my cock again and tried
to stuff all she could down her throat. Her soft hair was lightly
stroking my balls and ass and it was heavenly. She moved her mouth off
my cock and on to my sensitive balls. I reached down and slowly stroked
my wet prick as she ran her little pink tongue slowly around my sack.
"Taste good baby?"
"Oh fuck yes baby!" She replied. "I love to suck your big
balls."
"Are they full of hot, sweet cum for me baby?"
"You fucking know it baby." I anwered.
She was lightly licking the sensitive area right below them now.
Ocassionally, she would show me those damn beautiful eyes that had
captured me long ago. A man could fall into them and drown. I knew from
experience. And from experience, she knew what I needed next.
My hand that was still slowly stoking my cock. It sped up a little when
I felt her hot little tongue lightly circle my asshole. She loved to
tease me here, but I didn't mind to much. She was going to get the
same treatment later. It seemed like an eternity passed before I felt
her tongue slowly working it's way in. My cock felt like iron it was
so hard. I stopped jacking on it lest we have an accident!
God! I loved having my asshole tongued. Maybe it was a power trip, or
maybe it was just because it felt so fucking good. I don't know. I
leaned my head back and closed my eyes, let my mind wander, and just
enjoyed for awhile.

  When Jeannie and I met, both at age 19, it was like a violent
chemical reaction. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. I
thought she was gorgeous. 5 feet 6 inches, 110 lbs.,beautiful chestnut
hair that fell all the way to the tightest little ass I had ever seen.
Firm 36C tits with big, dark, sensitive nipples. And a sex drive that
wouldn't quit! Every 19 yr. old males wet dream.

  We met on a Friday, and by Saturday night I was on top of her in bed
trying to work my cock into her pussy. Size seemed to be a problem.
When she first felt my semi-hard cock through my jeans she had stopped
kissing me and looked down like she wasn't sure where she had
grabbed. I do have a nice 8 inch dick but I have seen longer. It's
the thickness that had scared a few girls before. It's almost 8
inches in circumference too. When we ended up naked in bed I could tell
she was nervous about it. I asked her whether she wanted to try it or
not. After a couple of seconds she looked at me and said yes. But asked
me to go slow. She was wet. Hell, she was dripping! Maybe I was in to
much of a rush. I wanted inside of her so badly! I took a long time
rubbing the head up and down her wet slit. It was driving her crazy.
Shit, it was driving me crazy! She was moaning and panting like crazy.
Finally, I heard her moan, "Put it in Alan. Put the head in."
I stopped sliding it up and down and moved my cockhead down to the
bottom half of her juicy slit and pushed gently. I felt her lips give
way a little and the head slipped in. Shit! It was the hottest, wettest
pussy I had ever been in. I held still for a few minutes. Finally I
felt her hips moving just a little bit. Her mouth was wide open and
tiny throaty squeeks were coming out of it.
In a strained voice she said, "Back out and go in again slowly baby.
It's big, it's fucking big."
We started a very slow rythmn. She was so beautiful and soft and
smelled wonderful, I didn't know how long I could last. Slowly we
picked up speed. I now had over half of my cock in her. She was
incredibly tight! I felt the switch flip deep in my balls and I knew
there was no stopping now. I got about 4 more strokes and I felt the
cum erupt out of my cock. Her eyes flew open and she grabbed my ass and
pleaded, "I'm almost there! Keep fucking me baby!"
Not a problem at 19 lady. My still hard cock kept pumping her cunt. In
30 seconds she squealed and wrapped her legs around me. Her whole body
shuddered under me and I felt her cunt muscles clench and un-clench on
my cock.

We slept like that the first night and many after. Holding each other
with my cock still in her pussy. We spent the next 5 years fucking each
others brains out. Never less than twice a day, sometimes 5 times a
day. My cock was sore a lot. But, I was not complaining. Somewhere in
the midst of all the fucking we got married. We learned a lot about
each other. I learned that she was bisexual. We were both very open
minded and this was not a problem. As you can probably guess, yes, it
did benefit me a few times. It was a fun distraction, but it never
caused us any problems. We also learned that we both had over-charged
libidos. Luckily, I had some damn tough equipment. It never seemed to
quit.

We slowly came to the realization that great sex by itself was not
enough to carry a marriage. The last year of the marriage, we hardly
spoke to each other about daily life, or work, or anything. We just
continued to fuck each other, almost desperately, because that is all
we had together. We mutually agreed to divorce and struck out on our
own.

I started dating. So did Jeannie. We were both in the IP business and
worked pretty much from home and whenever we wanted. 30 days after the
divorce we ran into each other at the grocery store. She invited me
over for coffee. I never got the coffee. I got Jeannie. Impaled on my
cock and riding it for all she was worth. Since we were both single, we
just fell into what I guess you could call a regular "booty call"
situation. We both still dated at will, but we agreed nobody could
satisfy us sexually as well as each other.

I met a beautiful girl a few years younger than me, that latched on and
wouldn't let go. Samantha wanted something from me that Jeannie
didn't. Babies. I wanted them too, so I married her. She didn't
have the libido of Jeannie, which was ok. She had the bod and the
mothering instinct though. The one thing she had which I still hadn't
gotten used to was her mother. Carol could be a bitch from hell, and
she obviously didn't care much for her son-in-law.

I snapped back to present when I felt Jeannie pull my legs down. She
climbed up on me and positioned her steamy slit right over my throbbing
cock. She only got on top when she wanted to get off fast. She said my
cock rubbed her clit hard in that position. I think the control trip it
gave her got her so hot she couldn't stop herself. I liked it a lot.
I could kiss her and lick and suck on those hard nipples while she
fucked me.

She ever so slowly lowered herself onto me. My god, I never got tired
of that feeling! She stopped with about 2 inches of my cock in her and
looked in my eyes and smiled.
"Baby, I love your big... fucking... cock!"
I whispered back, " Jeannie baby, you can have it whenever you
want."

And, she knew I meant it. She bent down and shoved her tongue in my
mouth and started a slow hip rotation. She way she rolled her hot pussy
on me was fucking unbelievable. There was no up and down movement. I
could hear faint, wet sounds as she panted in my face and slowly sunk
down on my shaft. Her little grunts and facial contortions turned me on
big time. This is the time I treasured most. She was lost in her
pleasure and she always brought me along for the ride.

Finally, she had worked her hot cunt down to my balls. She stopped all
movement and just held me there. She was so sensitive in this position
that just clenching a small muscle to twitch my cock or whispering
something dirty in her ear could make her cum.
She said softly, "Please not yet. I want to keep you in me."
"Keep me where?" I asked.
I felt her cunt muscles clench a little. "Don't make me say it! You
know what will happen!"
I gathered two handfuls of soft hair and pulled down until her sweet
face and dark eyes were looking at me. Panting softly through her full,
pouty lips she was the sexiest bitch I had ever known. Her thighs and
ass were quivering slightly and I could feel it through my cock. My
balls were pulled up tight and ready.
"Say it bitch!"
She gave me an evil look and her eyes flashed and she barked out, "I
want your big fucking cock deep in my hot, wet cunt you fucking
bastard!"
I pulled my cock down and almost out of her and immediately rammed it
back home again. Her whole body gave a jerk and she moaned, "Fuck
me."
She sat up and I grabbed her hips and started shoving her pussy back
and forth on my cock. I could feel hot, fresh pussy juice stream down
my balls. Her head tilted back and I knew she was over the edge and
cumming. Her hands flew up to her heaving tits and crushed them as her
thumbs and index fingers pinched her hard nipples. Her hips took over
their own staccato pace as she began furiously churning her cunt on my
straining cock.
Watching her lose control and become a wanton fuck-doll was a huge
turn-on to me. I slammed back at her pussy with all I had until I felt
the hot seed boil up out of my balls and erupt out of my cock. She
yelped when she felt my jizz and looked back down at me. We slowed our
pace and she collapsed back down on my chest as she slowly ground her
clit into the base of my still twitching cock.
We held each other until our movements ceased and our breathing slowed.
I ran my hands over her back and down to her hard ass. She whispered in
my neck, "How in the fuck does that big piece of hard meat control me
so goddamn easily?"
"I don't know babe. How in the fuck does just a fleeting thought of
you make it hard?"
She chuckled, "You know I'm your whore?"
"You are not a whore." I replied.
"Oh, I think I am. But only for you baby."

I stood up and she wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around
my neck and I carried her to the bedroom. I softly deposited her on the
bed and pulled my semi-hard cock out of her. She said, "Bring that
here please?"
She slid her head to the edge of the bed and I moved closer until my
still wet and cum streaked cock was hanging inches in front of her
face. She breathed deep and said, "God damn we smell good
together!"
I smiled down and replied, "Slut." She chuckled and reached around
and pulled me closer to her mouth. Her tongue slipped out and slowly
licked a lazy circle around my big cock head. "Mmmmmm," she purred,
"we taste good too!"
I reached down to the bedside table and slipped out a cigarette and lit
it. She tilted her head back and pursed her lips wanting a drag. I held
it down to her and she took a big drag and said, "Thank you
whoremaster."
I smiled back at her and replied, "Your welcome slut. Now please
continue cleaning the equipment."
That got her. She let out a giggle and said, "The equipment? Oh yes
sir! I'm sure this heavily used equipment could stand some
cleaning!"
When she finished laughing she sucked half my cock in her mouth and
swirled her hot little tongue around it. I put the cigarette in my
mouth and I could taste us on it. She was right. We did taste pretty
good.
She licked her way down to the base of my cock and started on my balls.
The well trained equipment was already responding with enthusiasm. I
relaxed and enjoyed and took in the view. She was gorgeous. The word
perfect came to mind but is anything really perfect? If she was perfect
why weren't we still married? The short answer was neither one of us
were. We are just the best fuck either one had ever found. And we liked
to fuck exactly the same way.

A little while later I was laying beside her with my now hard cock
laying across her thigh just below her pussy. I was absently tweaking
her big nipples with one hand while we shared another smoke. She slowly
snaked her free hand down and got hold of my cock. She couldn't get
her hand all the way around it. She started softly stroking the
sensitive skin below the head on the bottom side. She asked, "So what
is little blonde hottie, good wife Sam doing today?"
I knew it wasn't a jab. More like a tease. I didn't take offense.
And it translated to, "How much time have we got?"
"Well, her mother came out here to take her to the doctor today, and
then shopping I suppose."
"Ah, the wicked witch that eats bad son's-in-law for lunch?" She
asked, as she now had my cockhead pressed against her clit hood and
slowly rubbing it.
"That's her," I replied, "and by the way miss, if you are not
careful, that penis in your hand could easily slip into that vagina
below it."
"Oh, I'll be careful sir!" she giggled.
"Well, see that you are miss." I gave her nipple a playfully hard
twist and she slipped my cockhead down her bare, hot slit picking up
some moisture for it's trip back up to her now hard clit. She rubbed
it lightly on her clit and sighed, "What's wrong with wifey?"
"She thinks she may be pregnant." I replied.
She squeezed my cock hard and set her mouth in a mock shocked look and
said, "Have you been fucking your wife sir!"
"Guilty miss." I admitted. "And since we are playing twenty
questions, why the new enthusiastic interest in the oral arts?"
She was quiet for a moment and finally said, "You remember CJ?"

Oh ya, I remember CJ. You bet. CJ was an old high school buddy of
Jeannie's. She was also, judging by her picture, about the hottest
black woman I had ever seen. During our marriage Jeannie had asked if
it was ok if she came to visit for a weekend. She explained that CJ was
a "special" friend. My dick perked up with interest! Jeannie
noticed the interest. She explained that her friend had had some
problems with the way men treated her and just did women. She had told
her friend about me and that she would perform her own wifely duties
and that CJ would not have to be involved. To make a long story short,
we got along fine. I had sat in a chair and watched them 69 for an hour
and jacked off. I noticed CJ glancing at my cock occasionally. When
they finished, CJ slipped off to the bathroom. I couldn't take it
anymore so I bent Jeannie over the couch and rammed my aching cock up
her sopping pussy. I was fucking her hard when I felt a hand on my ass.
I looked around at CJ and she smiled, "I think I might want to try
some of that. If Jeannie doesn't mind?"
Well, of course she didn't. I bent her over beside her buddy and
worked my big stick into her hot channel. She loved it! I loved it! We
spent the rest of the weekend fucking and sucking our brains out. When
she left she told Jeannie she had the most wonderful man she had ever
known. I kissed her and her eyes teared up a little and she left. I
liked her a lot.

Jeannie continued, "She stopped by a month or so ago. We spent the
day 'catching up.'"
"Uh huh, I can imagine." She rolled her hips just a little bit
toward me and pulled my cockhead in between her pussy lips. It felt
like molten lava in there.
"We did spend some time talking. She was pretty upset that we had
divorced. She also never came back because she almost fell in love with
you and did not want to be a problem."
That did surprise me a little!
"Anyway, I realized it had been quite a while since I had had any
pussy. And I really enjoyed it. A lot! And later I got to imagining
your big cock plowing Sam's pussy and you know what a horny bitch I
am, so next time I was sucking you I imagined I could taste her on you
and I really started to enjoy it."
She was panting a little now and moving my cock up and down a little
faster. I have to admit, the reason she gave had me turned on too.
"I don't think she's into pussy baby."
"Well, you may be right. But I am. And I think you should fuck her
right before the next time you come over and give me a fresh taste of
that little blonde cunt when you get here."
Fuck! She could turn me on! I had to do something before I shot off in
her hand.
So, I slowly moved down, kissing her skin as I went. I got down between
her legs and went to work on her pussy. She eagerly spread her legs and
cupped the back of my head as she pulled my lips to her hard clit. I
sucked it in and slowly began lashing it lightly with the tip of my
tongue. I knew this drove her fucking crazy. She quickly began yelping
and thrashing. She liked to talk dirty when getting head and
predictably let loose a string of obscenities, "Lick it! Lick my cunt
motherfucker!" and, "Suck it fucker! Make me cum in your mouth
bastard!"
I liked it. Her pussy was running juice now. I stuck my tongue in it
and gave her a little tongue-fuck. She slung her cunt right back at my
face. I knew at least some of the juice running out was my jizz. I
didn't care. I sucked and lapped at it like a nursing puppy.
I pushed her legs back toward her head and exposed her beautiful, wet
pussy and cute little asshole. I licked down around her asshole,
circling it but not touching it. She tried to move her ass and moaned
in protest to my teasing but I remembered her teasing me earlier. I ran
my tongue around her asshole and up through her swollen lips to lightly
flick her clit and back down again. I kept this up for 5 minutes until
she was literally frothing at the mouth. Finally I ran my tongue down
to her asshole and plunged it in. God, she tasted wonderful! I tongue
fucked her ass and took one hand off her leg and slipped my thumb into
the top of her cunt. I bent it up against her G spot and started
rubbing circles. Her whole body was jerking and trembling as her head
thrashed from side to side.
"Fuck baby I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum! I gonna cum!" then a
long drawn out moan, "Fuck!"
Her entire body clenched! Then slowly un-clenched as she collapsed back
panting like a marathon runner. I slid up kissing her belly as I went.
I got to her mouth and softly brushed her lips with mine. She was still
breathing a little heavy and she whispered, "That was fucking
wonderful baby."
She reached down and gripped my throbbing cock and said, "So. What
are we going to do about this swelling?"
I said, "I believe we are going to soak it in your cunt for a little
bit, then you are going to get on your knees and I am going to see if
it will fit in that tight little ass of yours."
She grinned and replied in a little sing-song voice, "Uh oh, I was
afraid of that sir."
I usually liked to play, but my cock was running the show right now. I
jumped in between her legs and rammed it home. Her pussy was wet and
open and I slid right in and started fucking.
"Damn, your cunt feels wonderful!" I groaned.
"It should. You've stretched it to fit that fucking monster!"
I flipped her over and pulled her up to her knees and put the head of
my dick on her asshole. This had taken a couple of years to get
perfected. She was afraid she'd never get it in and she liked anal as
much as I did. We took our time and a lot of lube, she learned to relax
her ass, and by our second year I was fucking her ass pretty regularly.
Sam wouldn't even discuss the possibility. She claimed no interest in
getting her little ass opened up.
I applied some pressure and the head slipped in. I heard Jeannie give a
little gasp, "Damn it, it still feels huge. Slow baby."
I took my time and worked in slowly with little strokes. In a few
minutes I was ball deep in her tight hole. I looked down as I slowly
started stroking. It stll amazed me how much she stretched out to take
me. She was so tight and hot I knew I wouldn't last long. I sped up
my pace and she now started rocking back to meet me. I made maybe 30
more seconds and I couldn't take watching that fat fucker plow her
ass any more. I threw my head back and growled and shot my hot cum up
inside her. I kept pumping her asshole until I saw my cum squeezing out
along my cock.
She growled back, "Do it baby! Fuck my ass you fucking bastard!"

When I finally pulled out, we flopped out on her bed and just layed
beside each other for a few moments resting. After a little bit she lit
two cigarettes and handed one to me.
"Another fuck for the record books."
"I agree. I never get tired of this Jeannie."
"Me either Alan. I'm your whore remember."
I popped her lightly on the ass and said, "Stop it. I'm gonna jump
in the shower and get home."
She smirked, "By all means. I wouldn't want June Cleaver smelling
pussy and ass on Ward."
I smiled back as I headed for the shower, "That's right. But the
next time you taste my cock, you'll be tasting June."
She licked her lips and said, "Promises, promises."