Lay of the Land - (poem MF humor caution)

Lay of the Land


Now I lay me down to play
With her I'll lie and have my way.
I'm laying her with hands so skilled
While she's lying there to soon be drilled.
Soon her head will be laid to rest.
As I lay down - upon her chest.

I lied a lot - to get laid
It's the only pay I get paid.
She set her crown upon her bed.
Next to her I sat - and then I bled.
I do not lie - when I say
That stupid crown was in my way!

"More attention you must pay
To where you set your ass - I say"
She laughed and lied that she did care.
As she laid her nipples bare.
It mattered not, I must admit.
Because right then, my dick she bit.

My eyes got wide, I screamed in pain
I hadn't known she was insane.
I struggled hard, it mattered not.
To be her dinner was my lot.
I pulled again and my flesh tore.
I ran like hell - right out the door.

Now I sit so I can pee.
All because she sat with me.
To lie with her I did lie.
I wish to her I'd said goodbye.
I always groan and still turn red
When I think about her bed

That stupid crown, my startled frown
Her stringy hair, a mousy brown.
Her nipples taut, no hint they gave
Of her plans - for this knave.
With many women I had lain
Until that night - of such pain.

Now I sigh for things past.
And sadly think of her repast.
All that's left - is a stump
And women feel - a small bump.
Once that's done they laugh and snort
Our gleeful play they then abort.

My tale is done, my life a ruin
The women tell me nothin' doin'.
I'll take a drink and drown my sorrow.
Because for me, there's no tomorrow.
Take care my friends and beware
Of that one with mousy hair.