Beautiful Purpose


Another boring picnic, dragged out of her house by Daddy because
she was looking pale and it wasn't good to spend so much time
alone. Emily didn't put up much of an argument. He was probably
right, but she didn't expect much more than the usual furtive
wordplay, polite and trivial. She'd play her father's daughter,
just for him once more into the breach with her sable hair and
soft hazel eyes, pale skin and slender form. She was beautiful by
nature, rather than conscious effort, and it lent her a rarefied
innocence all its own.

She wore a yellow sundress, practical cool, with the bare
essentials underneath. It had been a long hot Washington summer,
and it still was. Emily spread sun block across her pale skin on
the drive to Kinsey Park. She'd burn anyway, if she wasn't
careful, and started thinking maybe she should have pleaded a
headache. Isn't that what wives do? Emily giggled a little at the
thought and her father looked at her. She looked back and smiled,
it was okay.

Mingling, mingling...Food everywhere. Beer and soft drinks. Chips
and volleyball, softball, Frisbee, and badminton. Everything the
heart could desire on such a beautiful summer day. Well, almost
everything. Emily sat on a small blanket, sipping her diet-coke
and watching Daddy try and play volleyball. Probably end up
spraining his back, she thought, and then he'd be misery to live
with for a week or two. But he was enjoying himself now and that
was a rare enough sight, a little grumbling later would be worth
it.

"Hi there."

Emily looked up, squinting at the man who’d approached unnoticed
as she watched the game. "Hi."

"Is this seat taken?" he gestured to the empty half of the
Emily's blanket.

"Ummm...No, it's not." Emily frowned a little, but she caught
herself and smiled as the man sat down next to her. It felt a
little intrusive and Emily resented it, chiding herself silently
for being so moody.

"I'm Samuel." He extended his hand and Emily let it envelop hers
for a moment.

"Emily." She looked at him a little closer; he was older than
she'd first thought.

His eyes were a warm soft brown which sat incongruous with his
stern features. Everything about his face seemed chiseled, a
classic profile which drew the eye as if it would be a pleasure
to find some defect in it. His mouth was small, with thin rusty
lips and cheekbones high, almost feminine somehow. But when he
smiled the effect was ruined, he came to life and sudden slight
dimples appeared. Crows feet pulled at the corners of his eyes
and his straight white teeth flashed as it seemed his mouth
opened impossibly wide.

"I work in the turbine shop, you...?"

"I’m here with Bob Ross." Emily pointed at her father and gave
him a little wave as she caught his eye.

"Ah. The boss. Okay, maybe I should get another beer and..."

Emily laughed and cut him off. "He's my dad. Don't worry, I won't
bite."

Samuel laughed too, "It's not your bite I was thinking of." He
pointedly looked at Emily's father.

"Nah. He bites even less than I do." Emily stood up. "Want to go
for a walk with me?"

"Uh, okay. Sure, I'd love to."

Emily folded the blanket and carried it in her arms. "Let's bring
this, maybe we'll find a nice spot down by the river." She smiled
and Samuel smiled back. She didn't really know what she was
doing, but he looked interesting and it was getting slow watching
the kids, young and old, playing in the hot sun.

They walked together and Samuel grabbed a wide brimmed khaki hat
off one of the dozens of coolers lining their route through the
picnic grounds. He put it on his head, smoothing his thinning
brown hair back as he did so.

"Oh! I didn't know I had Indiana Jones with me." Emily giggled.
"I feel safer already!"

Samuel laughed. "No, not me. I just like the way it sits."

"Well, it suits you. What's that on the side there?" Emily looked
up at the small black and silver badge. It looked like a three
part version of the oriental Yin and Yang symbol. A third curling
shape, identical to the other two, suggesting counter-clockwise
motion. The outlines and "eyes" were silver, the rest filled with
black.

"Oh that?" Samuel took his hat off again and held it for Emily to
see. "That's just a little symbol I like it’s..."

"I know what it is." Emily cut him off and grinned at the
emotions flickering across Samuel's handsome face. "Safe, sane
and consensual. I have one just like it at home; my Teddy Bear
wears it for me."

"Teddy Bear huh?" Samuel put his hat back on and they started
walking down the path towards the Skagit River.

They walked in silence for awhile, Emily smiling and picking at
little purple flowers blooming along the path. Samuel wondering
just where this little trip was taking him.

"Don't you want to ask me?" Emily suddenly asked.

"I want to ask you a lot of things." Samuel chuckled, "I'm just
trying to figure out where to start."

"I'll start, how about that?" Emily lifted a flower to her nose.
"These don't have any smell. What good are flowers that don't
smell?" She tossed it into the wind and pointed to a shaded spot
close to the slow moving river. "Let's sit over there."

"You don’t think beauty alone is worth something?" Samuel asked.

"I thought I was going to start." Emily smiled. "Do you?"

"Sometimes, yeah." The man admitted.

"I don’t." Emily shook her head slightly, pulling a strand of
long dark hair from her eyes. "Beauty without purpose is a
waste."

"And if the purpose is beauty?" Samuel spread the blanket under
the shade of a large oak tree.

"Then I’m wrong." Emily giggled. "Wouldn’t be the first time."

"And I thought maybe you were a fighter." Samuel teased.

"Beauty isn’t worth fighting over." The young woman shrugged.

They sat down on the blanket, Emily cross legged, smoothing her
dress over her knees, and Samuel leaning up against an old maple
tree. "Maybe you only say that because you’re beautiful." He
smiled. "So it’s easy to dismiss it."

"Ohhh…that line won’t get you laid." Emily made a face.

"It’s not a line." Samuel said seriously. "You don’t think you’re
attractive?"

"Sometimes."

"But not always?"

"Nobody’s always attractive." Emily replied with a sigh, sounding
bored.

They were quiet for some while after that, just sitting there
with their own thoughts. In the distance the noise of the company
picnic sounded like wild birds more than any human sound and
Emily thought it almost pleasant. It would have been much nicer,
she thought, if all those people really were just birds.

But that thought made her suddenly lonely and looked at the man
beside her, willing her mood to improve and hoping it would.
"Okay. BD, DS, or SM?"

Samuel seemed to think about it for a moment. "Yes."

"Really? Cool. Top, Bottom, or Switch?" Emily stared at him,
smiling just a little. "I like the way everything comes in 3's,
don't you?"

"Top. You're turn."

"BD, more masochist than sub, and bottom, natch." Emily was
enjoying this, wondering just how open Samuel would be to talking
like this. For that matter, how open would she be? But that was
part of the fun, part of the game wasn't it, finding limits in
everything.

"Do you scene?"

Emily looked up at him. "Yes, I’ve scened. Have you?"

"Yes, but not as often as I like." Samuel grinned.

"Nobody gets as much as they like and only rarely as much as they
need." Emily shrugged. It was old wisdom.

"Are you collared? I mean do you like power exchange? Anything
like that?"

"Mmmm...Not collared. More like..." Emily smiled as she tried to
find the right words. "I'm a rental. A few hours at a time, maybe
more than a few, that's my limit. Safe words and safe clocks."

"Safe clocks. That's interesting, so you set a little alarm clock
and...?"

"And when it goes off, that's it. Time to catch our breath, catch
some sleep, have dinner, whatever."

Samuel looked at the girl next to him. "Sounds like it would be
awfully frustrating; I mean just stopping like that. Isn't it?"

Emily giggled. "Of course it is, that's part of the point. The
discipline."

"And the other part?"

"It's part of being safe. I've never said a safe word in my
life."

"Do you want to?"

"Of course not." Emily smiled without humor. "I think I would die
before I'd ever say stop."

"That doesn't sound safe or sane."

Emily bristled at the softly spoken words and stared at Samuel
before turning back to placid waters. "No," she agreed. "It
probably doesn't."

"What else?" Samuel picked a little yellow flower and held it to
his nose.

"Ever been to Burns?"

Samuel handed Emily the flower. "This one smells nice." He
smiled. "And it goes with your dress. Burns on Lake City Way?"

"Thank you. Yeah, is there more than one?" Emily smelled the
sweet perfume and smiled, rolling the flower stem between her
thumb and finger.

"Not that I know of. You've been there I gather?"

"A couple times, but not inside. Some kind of problem with my
membership card."

"Huh? What’s that?"

I'm only 19," Emily laughed, "shocking huh?"

"Mmmm...Not so bad. I've been shocked worse." Samuel grinned.

"I don't like electricity."

"No, I didn't mean it like that."

"I know. I'm just saying, I don't like it."

"What do you like?"

Emily ignored the question. "What do you do at Burns?"

"Drink mostly, hit on the same girls a dozen other guys are
hitting on. Listen to the lions brag about their best scenes."
Samuel picked another flower and pulled the thin yellow petals
off one by one. "Watch the shows, sometimes."

"I heard the shows were pretty good, but fake."

"Yeah they're good sometimes. And kinda fake sometimes. But it
always looks good." The man shrugged.

"I wish I could see one. What's your favorite?" Emily turned and
lay down, putting her head on Samuel's shins. She smiled up at
him.

"Comfortable?"

"Not bad. Tell me your fave."

"Okay." Samuel looked down at the girl stretched out on her back,
looking up at the clear blue sky through the softly swaying
branches of the tree. He resisted the urge to stroke her hair, he
was a little off balance, but he had to admit he was enjoying it.

"You've never been inside, right?" He asked and Emily shook her
head. "Well, there's a stage in the middle, with a couple little
short runways coming off of it. Used to be a strip club I think,
before Burn bought it. Anyway, they have a couple girls working
there, regulars, you know. The one I like is small, about 5'2,
real skinny thing with black hair just a bit longer than yours."

"What's her name?" Emily interrupted.

"She goes by Angel, but that's not her real name."

"Of course."

"So, she comes out in just plain white bikini panties. Very
small, even for her. Little string ties at the sides, you know,
anyway she comes out..."

"Oh, come on, you can do better than that. Tell me about her
first, what does she look like?" Emily turned her head to look at
Samuel's face. "Tell me why you like her."

"Hmmm...My Dad always told me don't talk about girls with girls."

"Good advice, but I want to know."

"Well, she's small, like I said. Real pretty eyes, like those
Japanese cartoons. Big and dark, like they were made for crying.
Probably that's why I like her so much, that feeling like she's
so vulnerable she'd break if you said her name too loud."

Emily smiled and closed her eyes, trying to imagine what Samuel
described.

"She has a girlish body, not a woman's. Small breasts, almost not
there at all. Just hard dark nipples."

"There's a joke about the symbol like that. It really means 'Yin,
Yang, and Young.' You're not one of those guys are you?" Emily
looked up at him.

"That's pretty vanilla." Samuel laughed. "No, I'm not one of
those guys."

"Okay. just checking." Emily went back to looking at the sky.

"This girl, Angel, her thing is being whipped. Usually there's
another girl who does it. A redhead, real busty. She ties Angel
to the little stripper pole in the middle of the stage and she
kind of dances around cracking this whip she has. It's small but
it looks nice."

"Mmmm." Emily gave a little sigh as she closed her eyes and
imagined the scene.

"Other times, when Burn is there, he'll auction the whip off to
someone in the audience. But that doesn't really happen too much,
kind of easy for someone to get carried away."

"A little too enthusiastic?"

"Yeah."

Emily smoothed her dress across her flat tummy. "How about you?
Ever get too enthusiastic?"

Samuel smiled softly. "No."

"No? Never?" Emily's voice was teasing. "It's okay, you can tell
me."

"No, really, I'm pretty careful."

"Did you ever whip her?"

"Nope." Samuel sighed. "I never had the chance."

"Do you want to whip me?" Emily stared up into his eyes, her
smile gone.

"Ummm...You don't even know me." Samuel felt a little defensive
suddenly, unsure of what was going on. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Maybe," Emily went back to smoothing her dress. "Does it
matter?"

"Well, I'm sure it matters to him."

"Maybe I should set you two up then." Emily was getting angry
with herself. She didn't understand why she was acting like such
a bitch all of a sudden. It was a gorgeous day, Samuel seemed
very nice, so what was her problem?

"I think I should get going." Samuel started moving and Emily sat
up, turning to him as he stood slowly.

"No, please. I'm sorry; I just...I don't get out much." She
licked her lips. "Stay with me, please?"

"I don’t like a pushy bottom."

"And tops have their limits too. I know." Emily smiled. "Please?"

"You’re either the most direct woman I’ve ever known, or the most
devious." Samuel exhaled with a wary smile.

"And direct is to devious as beautiful is to…?" Emily giggled,
settling herself back on top of the man, resting her head on his
thighs this time.

"Ouch!" Samuel laughed. "That’s over my head."

"Mine too." Emily smiled.

"You don’t strike me as someone who asks questions she doesn’t
already have the answers to."

"I don’t?" That made Emily laugh. "The answers are easy, finding
the right questions, that’s hard."

"Now you’re being silly."

"No, really." Emily turned her eyes towards his. "I mean why do
you like BDSM?"

"I enjoy being in control. The responsibility gives me a
certain…freedom? I suppose that’s a good word for it."

"You get into your own little world? Master of the universe and
all that?" Emily asked seriously.

"Something like that. The rest of the world disappears for a few
hours, yeah." Samuel nodded. "How about you?"

"I like the clarity of pain." Emily smiled. "I find the questions
there for all life’s silly answers."

"You’re losing me again." Samuel smiled.

"Mmmm…I know I like pain, but just sitting here with you, asking
‘Why?’ isn’t specific enough. There’s too many possible answers.
Too many right answers. In a scene, a really good scene, the
questions become much more specific."

"Are you sure you’re not finding answers?" Samuel suggested. "I
mean the way you describe it, they sound an awful lot alike to
me. Questions and answers."

"Maybe I’m being devious." Emily sighed.

"Bottoms are smarter than tops." Samuel sighed as well.

"Stronger too." Emily giggled.

"When they scene, yeah. But what about the rest of the time?"

"The rest of the time?" Emily moved her hand up near her face,
squeezing Samuel’s thigh. "Real bottoms are always in a scene."

"Is that was this is?"

"Yeah." Emily closed her eyes briefly as the wind stirred the
branches so sunlight suddenly fell in her eyes. "This is a
scene."

"What’s you safe words?" Samuel asked with a soft smile, bringing
his left hand to stroke her hair.

"Paris."

"No warning?"

"No, I don’t believe in caution." Emily shook her head. "Do you?"

"It’s useful, in the beginning especially. Trust begins
somewhere."

"Spoken like a true Dom." The girl smiled and rolled her eyes.

"What does that mean?" Samuel frowned slightly.

"The ‘T’ word and on only our first date." She clucked her
tongue. "That’s moving pretty fast."

"Well, I was speaking generally."

Emily giggled. "I know, so I’ll forgive you."

"Good, I was worried for a second." Samuel teased. "How about a
safe subject then, have you ever been in love?"

"Sure." Emily nodded. "All the time, with everyone. You?"

"Once. I thought so anyway, but…" Samuel lifted his hand in a
vague gesture of dismissal. "One of those things I guess."

"One of those things, yeah." Emily sighed. "Are you looking for
love?"

"I’m afraid to admit it." He stroked her cheek.

"I’m afraid not to." She turned her head to kiss the back of
Samuel’s hand.

"No, I’m not looking for love." Samuel smiled.

"I am." Emily smiled back.

"What will you do when you find it?" He was bending low, his hand
sliding beneath her head to cradle her delicate neck.

"Throw it away." Emily bit her bottom lip, hitching a soft
breath.

"Why?" Samuel was lifting the girl now, slowly and gently.

"It’s useless, like that flower." Emily’s eyes searched his and
she seemed vulnerable suddenly.

"Are you sure?" His lips moved and she could feel his breath
across her own.

"No." She surrendered.

e