Meeting Emptiness



As the engine turned off with the twist of my key, I looked over the bookstore

parking lot with little nervousness.  Our conversations over the phone convinced

me that you very well could be the one for me...   a chance...  a possibility to

end the loneliness I feel each day... a possibility of my dream come true.  You

sounded fantastic, like a sweet, honest, and intelligent girl.



As I walked, knowing you were eagerly awaiting my arrival, knowing you were there

some place... I glanced at my watch.  It was time to make the person real.  A

smile lit up my face for that instant, for our meeting tonight was all I could

think about for the last two days and I could hardly wait to get out of class.



As I turned the corner, with a cold wind hitting me dead center, peering down the

sidewalk my heart dropped.   There was no one.  Not a soul in sight.  Nothing,

nada.  The only person standing there was  myself who was getting quite chilled

from the bite of the wind searching for the girl of his dreams... perhaps she

was.



My feelings hurt, and a twisted sense of faith in you, I checked around the other

side of the building. just in case you were on the other side, but despair set

in.  I realized at that moment...  I was stood up. My mind went over the phone

conversation of the wonderful girl I talked to and the emails of what we said...

how we clicked so well... our communications....  and I was there at the right

time at the right place.



Can I put the real disappointment and hurt I felt in this writing?  No, there are

no words for how I felt at that moment.



At this point I realized that the only person who lost here was you.  You lost

someone who could have warmed your heart with a love that is very hard to find. 

I'm funny, intelligent, goal-oriented, loving, artistic, commitment minded,

witty, responsible, financially comfortable, and very romantic.



On my way to the car I gave the parking lot a once over, but I already knew how

my night was going to end and it wasn't going to be with you.  Driving home my

feelings changed, but the disappointment melted away and a new feeling emerged, a

feeling of sadness, but not for myself - for you.



There will be others and one special woman who will gain my affections and

loyalty.



It is really too bad it won't be you.