Linda Brandy-Drinker As sure as my name is Richard son of Wilfred you will find me on a Friday at the local bar, this is no idle pastime but a ritual which stretches back as far as memory serves. I must impart upon you dear reader the confession that I am a man of the pint; in short, I like my beer. Not any old beer you must comprehend, such beer as I do get flirty with must come with the heady accompaniment of good company. And `twas on Friday night last when I made the acquaintance of one Linda, her second name I shall give only as being Brandy-Drinker. I sort of knew her as she was the divorced wife of a casual acquaintance of mine, a mother of three as I remembered and this particular evening she was out on the town in the company of a friend who during the course of the last hour or so had become somewhat involved and preoccupied with the unexpected appearance of her boyfriend. To cut a long story short the friend was going off with her boyfriend leaving Linda with me; before they toddled off she bade me to make sure that Linda got home alright. Somewhere a voice did utter "No problem" and the voice I did recognize as being familiar, it sounded a great deal like my own. She and her follicle challenged pseudo-youth departed, their gait resembling that of a couple trying to make their way back to their cabin in a force nine gale on a ferry, the pitch and roll of the floor careering them from their chosen plotted course. In these enlightened times the hostelries in these parts do not eject until just after midnight. And so come the bewitching hour many and varied were the calls of Would You Please Finish Your Drinks. At this juncture I was more or less pretty well oiled having gone just a little over the top in the beer department and you know how these things are, it came back to me this promise that I would make sure that this dark-haired damsel would be safely seen off towards her own part of the city. So, being a moosh who takes these things more or less deadly seriously, I felt that it was incumbent upon me to make good on my pledge to see that Linda was waved off in a taxi towards yonder suburbia. Although considerable difficulty was encountered in negotiating the stairs and fellow revelers leaving the bar it took us less than fifteen minutes to reach the taxi rank which lay at a distance of some 200 yards. The queue was enormous and the lack of taxis evident. Linda, giving up the struggle to remain standing plonked down and balanced on a conveniently placed council-provided bin. I continued to speak of this and that, but was looking forward to getting home and indulging in a little light snoozing. "Where are you going" She asked with one of those tones that warns a guy that there is a rejoinder coming unless he was damn careful. "Me?" I tried to ignore the question "Yeah you." "Oh I was just thinking of gong off and having a coffee, you know, after you head off in the taxi" My chant "It was not going to happen. It was not going to happen." Even as I eyed her beautifully curved ass. (A dream, a swirling fog all around as she wiggled her tanned legs and smiled back at me "How is it back there?" Just fine, just fine. ) "I want to go to a party." This from a girl who hit had to be said looked as if she had already been to a party. "I know of no parties. Party? What party? Don't you have to get back? Don't you have a babysitter" "No babysitter." "No Babysitter?" "No babysitter. Can leave the oldest one in charge. She is quite good." "Really?" Now I am all for equality for the sexes and that sort of thing, but I was more than a little concerned about this, three children back at home, most likely staring out of the window waiting for their mother to return home. "I'll come for a coffee with you then." She said and in one fell sort of swoop I suppose you would call it, she grabbed me by the hand and detaching herself from her bin she was up. She would brook no argument and we made our way along the street to the late night café where many revelers were already engaged in acts of unashamed cappuccino slurping. I had black she had a cappuccino. Now I do not know what the exact word is, but there must be one which describes the feeling that there was something going on the air and you just can't quite put your finger on it. I would have used that word here, but as it escapes me at present you'll just have to do with the above to be going on with. Coffee finished I said I would get her a taxi, this easier said than done I might add at that time on a Friday night / Saturday morning. I suggested the best plan would be to jolly well head off not back to the taxi rank but to begin to walk along the road. Pick one of the black of the species up as we were going so to speak. We walked along the road waiting for a taxi to appear, when I saw one in the distance I said something to the effect that there was one, and wasn't that a lot simpler than dogging it back to the rank. I then uttered one of the most stupid things I have said in a long time. Perhaps it was the beer, perhaps it was something else. "But I think I will have a goodnight kiss first." She embraced me and our lips met, her mouth was, as I said, exceptionally attractive, lovely lips and so forth. The kiss was not the most memorable in my life but it served its purpose well enough. "Do you still want to go to a party?" As soon as I had said it I regretted the utterance. "Yes." She said and kissed me again on the lips, this time with the added complication of tongue. I put my hands on her firm and lovely ass and the temptation was too much for me. It went against everything that I thought I believed in, I was taking a girl home from the pub. "Okay, we can go to my place." I said, mid-kiss, still exploring that exceptionally well crafted ass of hers. "Good." She said, smiling a sort of fourteen gin and tonic smile. I hailed the taxi, she did appear to be a little drunk when we entered the back of the cab. Sitting in the back worrying more than I had in some considerable time I passed most of the journey in silence except for one or two words to the driver. As I unlocked the flat she passed in with the minimum of noise or fuss and we were standing in my hall, illuminated only by the light coming out of the lounge. I asked her to come in and take off her coat. She took it off with only a minimum of difficulty in the coordination department, handed the thing over, picked up her little bag and then asked to go to the bathroom. I showed her where it was and asked her what she would like to drink, to which she replied "Have you got any brandy?" and I said yes. Far be it from me to conjecture what she was getting up to in there as I fished out the brandy bottle and poured an admittedly stiff one, I can only guess that maybe she was making her self sick, brushing her hair or having a pee, re-applying her make-up or lipstick, I know not but when she returned to the lounge and settled down on the couch at my side she looked refreshed and pleased at the brandy I handed to her. "Thanks, nice place." She said. In next to no time or what seemed next to no time the lights were down low, and a well known album was on the stereo. What transpired next was, although fuelled by drink, beyond my wildest dreams, I will try and explain, hoping I don't miss out on any of the more crucial points. A kissing session of unparalleled intensity did ensue upon that sofa, with tongues a-darting merrily, our hands exploring each others bodies although not intimately at first. Feeling my excitement grow as I cupped her breasts, she facilitated my further enjoyment of our intimacy by helping me to undo her blouse and then her bra giving me excellent and unfettered access to her warm fleshy heavy globes. The nipple did grow exponentially under my caresses and at once I lowered my head in order to impart in true erotic fashion a series of full lipped kisses and tongued ministrations upon her exposed breasts as she chanted in some alien tongue known as "Ah. Yes." The trophies now on display were of the highest quality, her excitement rose with each alternate suck of her nipples and my hands slipped between her legs which opened in the most provocative manner. I gained very great pleasure from the explorations of the contours of her thighs and her aforementioned wonderfully tight ass. Could I really be doing this with the wife of an acquaintance however casual? The answer was evidently in the affirmative. "You could have any woman you wanted" She remarked to which I assured her that this was most definitely not the case. Feigning a need for a cigarette I cooled off my nipple sucking and giving her all of my attention with my eyes I fetched a smoke, a joint I had prepared earlier and not a cigarette from the repository by the mantelpiece. As I stood regarding her she joined me, with my one free hand I was able to gently squeeze the firm small round curves of her ass. Noticing the strange olfactory stimulation she enquired as to the nature of the noxious weed I was now inhaling I replied that it was cannabis, a pleasure I have long been partial to having picked up the habit when I was a hippie child. Although I counseled her against the practice she was set upon joining me in the inhalation of the illegal weed, and passing the duchy from the left hand side she did inhale like a true professional, no cough or splutter or tear emanating unbidden from glassy eye I could detect. `Twas a pleasant sight that met my rapidly reddening eyeballs, her standing proud like a queen of long ago, her tits out for this particular lad, an inviting smile upon her full lips. I said as much too and she thanked me most merrily leaning back to more effectively display her fleshy pleasure globes. I remarked with uncharacteristic frankness due in part no doubt to the heady mix of ale and weed, that `twas my hope that she would notice by the tell tale contours upon my trousers that her pose was having the effect of producing an involuntary swelling of some considerable intensity in my jeans. She replied that she had indeed noticed the bulge and that unless I had some reason for denying her curiosity that she was intent on exploring the swelling just as soon as we had finished off the smoke. The condition met, I facilitated her explorations by moving myself to the sofa while she sank to her knees onto the carpet. Linda then exhibited considerable skill and deft hand and eye co-ordination to undo my belt than unbutton my jeans in something approaching record time. Of course I helped as best I could as she slipped them down and off of my legs, relishing the touch of her fingers on my flesh. Next came the tent-like boxer shorts which were removed with much greater ease than my jeans and I sat excited and expectant as she eyed my now exposed member which was standing to attention. She smiled a somewhat overly wicked smile reminiscent of a Betty Davis movie; her hand went delicately around my hardness and announced that she was excited at seeing such a beautiful cock. She remarked that she hoped that it should taste as sweet as it looked in her hand; she was a master of heightening enjoyment by degrees as her fingers were now playing a merry dance on my member which was excited beyond words at her digital attentions. She asked enquiringly whether I loved to have my cock sucked, I replied in the affirmative, she further enquired whether I had a liking for my cock being licked, I conceded that I found nothing more pleasurable. She informed me that she had a passion for sex with her wet lips, I voiced my approval of her passion as best I could although I freely admit that I was somewhat distracted by the continuing motion of her fingers pumping blood into my throbbing member. I was extremely excited and commented that my favorite words were wet lips. All at once, perhaps alerted to my anticipation and wishing to alleviate the same, she rose up slightly on her knees, smiled sexily at me, pursing her lips and told me they were very wet indeed and then, and then... She moved with a grace born of great femininity and her head gently descended and I felt the first soft touchdown of her full and exceptionally wet lips gently brushing against the head of my most sensitive organ. I voiced my approval by use of a frequently employed oath "Fuck." I said. The descent of her head and most importantly her lips had by no means reached its ultimate conclusion, wishing however to appear as sexy as possible she first imparted her tongue swirling around the tip as a prelude to introducing my throbbing cock into her wet and deep mouth. The sensitivity of my member was such that I experienced a huge rush of mind blowing pleasure as Linda, this wanton Friday night imbiber now sucked and slurped over my cock with such abandon and depth of penetration that I gained the distinct impression that she had some considerable experience of this activity. More than any other factor it was the depth of the introduction that impressed me most, sure I love to be blown and to a man such as myself there is no greater feeling than the very first time any woman begins to suck my cock, a result for sure. This however was truly exceptional, professional, fantastic, wonderful, brilliant, sensual and utterly unexpected. My head swam in pleasurable depths as she worked her big full lips and dripping wet mouth on me, teasing me with every tantalizing lick and slurp. From a slow start her speed had increased and her mouth and hand co-ordination. I moaned and I groaned but thankfully there was no respite, she would not take pity on me and cease even for a second her fabulous oral onslaught. When she had informed me, just over an hour before, that she wanted to go to a party and I had declined, I can only say that she ought to have at least mentioned that she had special talents such as this. You know that in some far flung fashion weekly they really ought to promote the idea of badges for girls in bars. You know the sort of thing "Great Tits" or "Wonderful legs." "Not on a first date." Or "No beauty but at least I swallow". Had this been the case then Linda would surely have adorned her bosom with the rejoinder "Blow Job Expert." As impressed as I was with her oral ministrations a little devil was speaking to me in my head, speaking to me, pleading with me. Presently Linda switched her position to sitting beside me on the sofa so that she could lean over and take my cock from the side. This she informed me was because she could take me even deeper into her mouth. Such was the case in reality, as she rammed her lips right to the end of my cock and pressed them tightly against my belly, the entire length of my cock was now in her mouth and throat. Again and again she played variations on this theme as I built up like some sort of intense sexual pressure cooker being tested to the very limits of its specification. I felt under her tits and belly for the entry to her tight black leather trousers, I accomplished this task with no great difficulty other than a slight distraction from the perfectly natural desire to buck my hips and empty the contents of my steamingly tight packed balls into her mouth. The trousers fell open but were far too well fitted for me to be able to gain tactile access with my fingers. I wanted to touch her everywhere, I wanted to feel her pussy lips, her pussy tunnel, her mid pussy and deep in her pussy with my fingers and I wanted her ass, oh god how I wanted to fuck this girl up her incredible ass. It was just about then that Linda stopped off from having me in her mouth just about long enough to enquire whether I was going to come, and that if so then I should feel perfectly free to do so. Having been brought up the right way I was pretty familiar with the etiquette in these sorts of situations, it was customary for the man when he heard something along these lines to seek confirmation as to the exact location of the cumming. So I put it as delicately as I could and asked straight out if she meant I could cum in her mouth. Her reply was as if from heaven itself and clarified the situation beyond any doubt that I may have had, her exact words to me - and I remember them distinctly as they really did make a fairly large impression at the time were "Of course you can, you can give me a real mouthful to swallow. That's the point of a blow job isn't it?" It was an offer that I could not refuse and I indicated that if she would like to resume the feast of slurping on my cock that I would fill her mouth without much further ado. As I felt the liquid passing along the shaft my cock stiffened in her liquid mouth, Linda, feeling the first eruption flooding in to her oral orifice gave a long satisfied moan of welcome to the cum pumping from the cock and pushed down on the cock so that the end passed over into he throat and so that the cum could flow directly towards her tummy. She then pulled up and then at the apogee of her ascent with my cock almost removed from her lips, she rammed down once again on my cock like a piston disappearing into the void and deep throated me. This process she repeated in synchronized duet with the contractions from my cock, and each contraction and depth defying plunge into her mouth was accompanied by a further brain blowing spurt of seed carrying cum. I screamed in pleasure, my head swam, my brain did double back somersaults of ecstatic pleasure, my hips involuntarily buckled, and I let out a series of earthy exclamations which tried to impart my pleasure and the appreciation at her unparalleled aptitude at having a cock fire off in the depths of her fabulous mouth. As the fires began to dim slightly I was left luxuriating in a state of deep physical and mental sensual and erotic overload, I felt as if I had been sucked out of existence and only reformed after having each and every molecule in my body inspected and injected with a pleasure inducing elixir. It was the best blow job in history. Linda, as she pulled off the cock with a last pucker of her soakingly wet (if that is a word) and shiny wet lips turned to me and then blew me a kiss and allowed a long steady dribble of the residue of my cum to trickle from the sides of her mouth and run down over her chin. She then opened her mouth wide and extended her tongue to show me that not much remained, then, she swallowed while closing her eyes as if she was making sure she got the very last drop of some life giving fluid and licked her lips in womanly satisfaction. What a fucking blow job babe she was. Some time later, I asked her to show me her body and especially her stupendously attractive ass Her long tanned legs, her g-string on the floor beside me I was privy to a wonderfully wanton display of ass wiggling from my leggy partner, my hands explored her buttocks, gently running my fingers over them to impart a delicate tickling sensation. I loved the delicate beautifully soft tanned skin of her inner thigh and the tight youthful feel of her stupendously attractive ass. Having ascertained from her frenzied ass wiggling that the lady was in no way antagonistic to my explorations, I proceeded to stage two of my plan to fuck her stupendously attractive ass. I introduced my long and searching finger some way between her legs and did covert excitedly with her clit, I then by way of indicating my pleasure at touching her began a series of low throaty moans that could only be taken as indicative of my tactile pleasure as my finger paddled, waded, now swam, now treaded water in her moistness. I increased both the frequency and the tone of my vocal accompaniment as I slid the finger to her anus and rolled the digit head wildly around her hole. Noting my considerable excitement the lady of the piece, turned towards me and noting my bleary eyes stare she rolled her eyelids down and extended her tongue outwards, the length f the extension was commendable and was on its zenith or whatever he word is when she let out a series of sounds produced as if by a Bonsai foghorn, of an aspirated ah of such volume and power that it left me quite stunned. She wiggled hard and in one fell motion I found that my finger had disappeared to the second knuckle into her anus. At this she widened her knees to facilitate my explorations and in an announcement of uncommon eroticism she duly informed me that `I was a fucking sexy bugger.' I enquired in a round about sort of way whether the fuck was on in that I elucidated that I enjoyed touching her there, it was I said extremely sexy, and then tagged onto the end whether she objected to my hedonistic digital explorations. She replied that if I were turned on, that was good enough for her. Knowing the rough etiquette in matters such as these I continued my verbal assault on her telling the good lady that she had perhaps the most beautiful and fuckable ass I had ever seen and that since several hours before I had held it as a standing ambition to give her one, should she be sex goddess enough to entertain such a penetration. She informed me in no uncertain terms that she was a lady who considered herself to be a sex goddess of unparalleled adventurousness and would therefore comply willingly and actively with my stated desire to fuck her arse off. As I have indicated earlier in this narrative I found the lady to be a beauty in possession of a small, compact, fleshy, smooth and unquestionably sexy set of buttocks and a beautifully formed ass. And seeing the same and hearing the words that she had just uttered I immediately found that my member, although recently spilled was as hard as a rock. She facilitated my entry by turning her buttocks towards me and splaying herself on all fours her ass wiggling high in the air she arched her back and reversed into position ready to be taken. I pressed my hardness against her hole and her ass yielded to the prodding, the end disappeared from view and just as my pole-like rod passed into her anal passage she let out a breathless exclamation indicating an affirmative response to my burying my cock into her arse. She was some girl. Presently under the spell of the feeling of my cock and the delight of her heavenly body beneath me I told her that she had the most beautiful arse in the world. The most succulent cheeks and the tightest passage, she duly thanked me for the compliment and implored me to avail myself of her passage to dump another load of cum ... As I pumped and plunged the sweet depths of her bowels I could feel the merry dance my heart was playing as my excitement and arousal turned this into a fuck and a half. I made no announcement that I was on the brink of boiling over, but when it happened I buried my cock as deeply into her bowels as possible and pumped about a gallon of cum into her. Afterwards as we sat on the sofa sharing a further joint and sipping cold beer, I enquired whether she was partial to a bit of anal on a regular basis or had this night been somewhat unusual. My question gave vent to her view that men like women who gave them what they wanted in bed, and she liked men, and in my case she knew that I wanted to have her arse and that was enough for her. She sweetly added in forthright fashion that she looked forward to the next time I took her up the arse. Although I had not envisioned her staying the night within twenty minutes we had shared a toothbrush and retired to the warmth of my bed where she embraced me naked and we both fell off into a dreamy sleep. In the morning I woke feeling refreshed and made the stupendously attractively assed Linda breakfast in bed, after which she bade me to rejoin her once more under the covers. Acceding to her invitation we had a further spring crunching session of straight pussy sex suitably aided by my hand caressing her clit all the while to which she was rewarded with a brace of fine climaxes before I once again emptied the contents of my balls into her fabulously moist pussy. She informed me that she had taken note that I had now had her in every way and that she was in no way disappointed with the way things had turned out after we had left the hostelry the previous evening. Once dressed, she remarked that she would feel somewhat self conscious in leaving my flat attired as she was, so I duly offered her a lift. Within the hour I had dropped her off at the end of her road after a merry dance was played upon our tongues and she had passed me a piece of paper with both her telephone number and her address upon it. She asked me with expectation whether I would like to see her again and I answered honestly that I should like nothing better. I added a small caveat-like condition in that my desire to see her would indeed be heightened were she to wear tight leather trousers. Hearing this, she advanced to me the knowledge that she had several pairs of leather trousers that she felt would be of interest to me and that she would be delighted to display them for me should I so desire. When she alighted from my vehicle I watched her make her way briskly along the street in the direction - I presumed - of her house and the three waiting children. I tarried in my departure because I was once again taken by the sight of her very long legs and those magnificent buttocks vacuum packed in the soft shiny leather trousers. This addition sight brought to my recollection just how wonderfully sexy this wench was. I resolved in that moment to make every effort to arrange a further meeting with her at the earliest possible juncture. I had shagged her, I had been blown to kingdom cum by her and of course, I had as she put it, shagged her arse off, and I was hooked, at least enough for a second round.